Send in the Clones OR Who Are Your Friends?

Bars and clubs are interesting in that you see that not much as changed since high school. Cliques still exist. Duh. What's sad is that it really does seem that they exist for the same shallow reasons. People with the same body-type hanging out in a crew of guys with the exact same body-type.

I guess part of what I always liked about being in the "drama crowd" was our shared bond of drama. Both professional and personal (hehehe!). But it was neat to see how it played out over the years. I remember one girl who was chubby in freshman year, only to lose a tonne of weight over the summer, and returned as a skinny sophomore, who was now able to hang out with the very girls who'd excluded her the year before. Who cares if she had to be hospitalized for complications from bulimia by the end of junior year, she was finally cool...right?

Or living here in NYC, where we see the boys who come from smaller towns who realize that by going to the gym every day, they'll attract the attention of other guys who go to the gym every day. Some guys never leave the circle they gain entry to, all the while maintaining the physique required to keep their membership. Some guys tire of it (*elegant curtsy*) rather quickly and seek a new scene.

I did it. I was a shallow twat and wanted, as if afflicted with some fucked-up Aesthetic Stockholm Syndrome, the approval and acceptance of people I really didn't even know, who didn't know me, yet had still managed to be utterly dismissive dicks to me in public. It didn't last long, thank God. Because not only was I bored senseless by the world I was given access to, I was also fed up of working out all the time.

Life turns up empty, and you're so dissatisfied, because you're not actually listening to yourself and doing what you want: you're still acting, perpetually auditioning for the lead role in someone else's idea of your life, instead of changing the plot yourself and claiming it.

Confessions of a Mormon Missionary - Part 1

So this dude on craigslist has been spilling his guts about how bad he felt for being a mormon missionary and propagating mormon lies. This is info from one of his posts, exposing the racism that used to permeate the church, and what many see is still silently existing.

Until 1981 2 Nephi 30:6 in the Book of Mormon taught that dark-skinned Lamanites (Indians) would eventually experience a change in the color of their skin should they embrace the Book of Mormon. This passage of Mormon scripture read:

"...their scales of darkness shall begin to fall from their eyes; and many generations shall not pass away among them, save they shall be a white and a delightsome people."

However, in 1981, the LDS Church decided to change "the most correct book on earth" and switched the word "white" with the word "pure." Some Mormons insist that this was a clarification since the word was never meant to refer to a person with dark skin pigmentation who would magically turn white based upon a conversion to the Mormon gospel; rather, it is claimed that the change referred to a cleaner state of heart. This assumption is definitely not supported in the Book of Mormon since 2 Nephi 5:21 says,

"And he had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, and they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them."

Furthermore, we find another reference to a change in skin color in 3 Nephi 2:15. This passage reads:

"And their curse was taken from them, and their skin became white like unto the Nephites."

That the context refers to skin color is verified by a number of LDS leaders including Joseph Smith. Mormon author George D. Smith notes that Joseph Smith was given a revelation which foretold of a day when intermarriage with the Lamanites would produce a white and delightsome posterity. George Smith wrote, "This unpublished 17 July 1831 revelation was described three decades later in an 1861 letter from W.W. Phelps to Brigham Young quoting Joseph Smith: `It is my will, that in time, ye should take unto you wives of the Lamanites and Nephites, that their posterity, may become white, delightsome and just.' In the 8 December 1831 Ohio Star, Ezra Booth wrote of a revelation directing Mormon elders to marry with the `natives'" (Sunstone, November 1993, footnote #5, pg. 52).

Second LDS President Brigham Young stated in 1859, "You may inquire of the intelligent of the world whether they can tell why the aborigines of this country are dark, loathsome, ignorant, and sunken into the depths of degradation ...When the Lord has a people, he makes covenants with them and gives unto them promises: then, if they transgress his law, change his ordinances, and break his covenants he has made with them, he will put a mark upon them, as in the case of the Lamanites and other portions of the house of Israel; but by-and-by they will become a white and delightsome people" (Journal of Discourses 7:336).

At the October 1960 LDS Church Conference, Spencer Kimball utilized 2 Nephi 30:6 when he stated how the Indians "are fast becoming a white and delightsome people." He said, "The [Indian] children in the home placement program in Utah are often lighter than their brothers and sisters in the hogans on the reservation" (Improvement Era, December 1960, pp. 922-3).

During the same message Kimball referred to a 16-year-old Indian girl who was both LDS and "several shades lighter than her parents..." He went on to say, "These young members of the Church are changing to whiteness and to delightsomeness. One white elder jokingly said that he and his companion were donating blood regularly to the hospital in the hope that the process might be accelerated."

LDS writer George Edward Clark gives a similar account in his book entitled "Why I Believe." On page 129 he wrote, "The writer has been privileged to sit at table with several members of the Catawba tribe of Indians, whose reservation is near the north border of South Carolina. That tribe, or most of its people, are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon). Those Indians, at least as many as I have observed, were white and delightsome, as white and fair as any group of citizens of our country. I know of no prophecy, ancient or modern, that has had a more literal fulfillment" (emphasis his).

It has also been taught in Mormonism that opposite repercussions could result when a white man abandoned his Mormon faith. For instance, the "Juvenile Instructor" (26:635) reads,

"From this it is very clear that the mark which was set upon the descendants of Cain was a skin of blackness, and there can be no doubt that this was the mark that Cain himself received; in fact, it has been noticed in our day that men who have lost the spirit of the Lord, and from whom his blessings have been withdrawn, have turned dark to such an extend as to excite the comments of all who have known them."

In 1857, Brigham Young declared that apostates would "become gray-haired, wrinkled, and black, just like the Devil" (Journal of Discourse 5:332).

Despite the comments from past Mormon leaders, skin color has nothing to do with a person's spirituality. To say 2 Nephi 30:6 was altered merely for clarification and had nothing to do with skin color is without merit. It was a false prophecy, nothing more, nothing less.

Woo-Hoo!

Love, Little Kiwi

4:41am Stoned Thoughts on Gay Republicans

I like to call them "Jewcatchers" myself. Apparently that's an "offensive" term. I thought that was the whole point of using such words with a sense of irony - you shock and educate at the same time. Anyway, back to my main thesis: Gay Republicans Have Capers For Testes.

That will be a song, at some point, in that musical I keep meaning to write but never get around to even starting.

Now, the thoughts!

Are All Gay Republicans Self-loathing?

(the following text is in uber-university style all-lower case angst-font)

anyone that tries to avoid being discriminated against by helping, or sitting back and WATCHING, while the people they support direct anti-gay bigotry at OTHERS is not only self-loathing, but a coward.

and if there are still people here who think that legalizing Gay Marriage *only* affects LGBT people who want to get married, or that DADT *only* causes problems for LGBT people who want to serve in the military...well...those people need to wake up - government-sanctioned anti-gay discrimination affects ALL of us.

when a country has laws that exist solely to DISCRIMINATE AGAINST LGBT PEOPLE then that country will never be freed from an oppressive majority of anti-gay bigots.

for real.
so are they all self-hating? not necessarily, although more than often likely many are.
most are simply lazy, greedy, selfish, gay with white privilege and complacent.
a few others are pussy-whipped little bigots themselves, who try to win the affection of their racist white Christian parents by joining them in voting GOP. "don't worry ma and pa, i still hate blacks and muslims, i'm a'vote GOP with you and maybe one day you'll like me again"

Many simply sit on their asses and choose not to "care" about LGBT Equality Issues. They don't fight for them, they don't champion them, and they don't have the backbone to express how important these Human Civil Rights issues are, because doing so would cause them to be seen as one of those "lefty-liberal activist queers", and they don't want that. oh, no no no.

Wimps.

but a lot are self-loathing, and base their entire sense of self-worth on "not doing what other gays do", which to their pea-brains means voting Republican. These wimps are often very bitter and angry towards "stereotypical" gay males, too. Why? Because their bigoted parents are, and they need to side with their bigoted parents to save their own asses. Cowards, cowards, cowards. GOProud recently hosted a 'homocon' with Ann Coulter speaking. Their promo-slogan: "Our gays are more butch than their straights" - again proving me right; they're obsessed with gender-norms, and appearing "like real men", because those are the ideas spouted and promoted by their bigoted families.

Oh, and GOProud and the website "Gay Patriot" are both against Gay Marriage. For real. "Gay Patriot" and its members are against gay marriage. GOProud chooses to "not get involved in what they feel is a State's issue..." - but both take their stance for the same pathetic reason: fighting for gay marriage would piss of the people they align themselves with.

Thus, we have gay men who cut off their own balls as an offering to the Republican Bullies they're desperate to be accepted by. "I cut off my balls, I'm not like those other gays, I promise to do what you say, so please leave me alone! I'll help you insult those other Liberal gays!"

Fucking Embarrassing.

There was comment made on a youtube video of mine about addressing bigotry in the Republican Party. The comment was made by a young gay republican. First he commented on how "wrong" my video was, and that the GOP was not bigoted. Then he said he supported DOMA, because "gays don't need to marry." Then he said "Republicans have a right to hate gays! freedom of speech!" *so right there we know boy isn't firing on all cylinders, he officially doesn't actually know what he's talking about*

But his final comment (and he left quite a few) was this: "I'm not oppressed because I agree with them."

My point exactly. You slap yourself in the face in hopes they won't slap you. You shoot yourself first so that they don't shoot you. You swallow their hate and go along with their bigotry, and that way they don't direct their anti-gay hate at YOU, but at "those other gays."

It's actually sad what a person like that gets reduced to.

and remember: if you can tell gay guys that you're a republican, but can't tell all your fellow republicans that you're gay, then you need to sit and think about what that means for a few hours.

My friend Christian is a bit more direct:

"Two types of gay republicans come to mind:

1) The self-loathing homosexual who compartmentalizes his sexuality and attempts to minimize the role it plays in his and other gay people's public status

2) The money-grubbing libertarian who supposedly believes in civil liberties, but not in any kind of social obligation to fund, resource, or enable their creation or protection."

I'm kind of in love with him.

:-)

Love, Little Kiwi

Prop 8 Overturned!

The Spike TV Guide To Being A Real Man

Ah, Spike TV. The Network FOR MEN! WOOHOO! The network for guys who like "guy things" like tits, and beer, and explosions, and high-speed car wrecking accidents, and movies starring Chuck Norris.

Or something.

Look, I've enjoyed some programming on Spike. Heck, my MUM has enjoyed some of the programming on Spike. But you know, dudes and dudettes, some of it's just plain shitty. As shitty as Dante's Cove on LOGO was shitty. Mediocre. Pandering. Simplistic. Plebeian.

Oh, well.

You know, I'm starting to think there's more of a root of Class-System politics than mere gender-conformity issues at play here in the ongoing "what is a *REAL* man" debate. It's not so much about what one culture or group (or era) attributes to being manly, but more about how some of our more 'advanced' cultures and society's today are equating the blue-collar aesthetic with 'manliness' - the division is more socioeconomic and class-oriented than a simple perpetuation of gender-stereotypes. Nonetheless, the wheels of my mind are a'spinning and I encourage anyone else to share their views.

But some of that programming on Spike really does make it seem as if men are proud to be neanderthals. Eek.

Pride 2010 - NYC and Toronto

Ok, so I had my first Pride in New York Fuckin' City! It awesome. Marched in the parade with my friends and activists who are "Queer Rising", and was blessed to be joined by a young straight buddy of mine who just kicks fucking ass while being impossibly gorgeous. Oh, how I love him for so many reasons.

It was fun. But Toronto Pride, I must confess, takes the cake. It truly is the best Pride celebration in the world. So inclusive, so diverse, so awesome. PFLAG was the honoured group in Toronto this year, so we led the parade. Joining us was Brian Burke, general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey franchise, and the US Olympic team. His son, Brendan, Came Out in 2009 - becoming a visible and inspiring advocate as a gay man in the sports field. Tragically, Brendan was killed in an accident in February 2010. Before his death, Brendan had been in touch with my mother, and was planning on marching with his father and us in the Pride Parade - fulfilling a promise they'd made to each other. This year, wearing Brendan's jersey, Brian Burke marched in the parade to honour his son. It was tremendously moving.

To Mr. Burke, to the families we represent when we march in the parade - we are ALL family. We are one. We carry each other through the hard times, and we celebrate the joys together.

Pride Forever.

POSER

So, many moons ago I posed for genius photographer Caitlin Cronenberg, for a book of nude photography she was working on. Years later, it's been released. My MOTHER ordered a copy for herself. For real. Everyone's like "Do your parents know you did this???" And I'm like "Uh, yeah. My mom pre-ordered a copy more than a year in advance."

For real. I can't shock my family. They're unshockable. There's the book of nudes with their son in it sitting on the coffee table. Life is rad, eh?

Anyway, the book is gorgeous. BUY A COPY!

http://www.caitlincronenberg.com/poser

Here's an edited version of my pic, slightly lower-res than in the book. If you want to see what I look like naked, then you have to buy a copy. Or come to Brooklyn, cuz the chances of me sleeping with you (any of you) are pretty high, actually. Or just search really hard online. ;-)

So yeah. Me in my nakedness. I look so young! Pre-arm tattoo, eh?

Heheheheehee

Anyway, it was a great experience to pose for her, she's the hippest thing since interracial sex, and I adore her. And being naked is awesome.

Wanna see the uncropped photo? Buy the book, muthafuckas....

Monster

Because sometimes a fun night out means getting your neck bitten open and your heart eaten by a sexy boy who in reality is a sexy monster with a craving for flesh. Especially if it's by Brooklyn-based performance-art sexbomb ROCKIT.

Mel Gibson is a Complete Fucking Bigot

I guess in addition to all of the more-than-obvious reasons to hate this piece of shit, there's also the reality that millions of "Christians", both good and bad, put faith in him to tell Christ's story from a place of genuine Christian love, whatever the fuck one even believes that means.

So really, we had a complete fucking bigot in charge of telling the story of Christ. I *HOPE* that many Christian communities are outraged about this. Something tells me they won't be.

So. He's on record for blaming the Jews for "all the wars in the world".

He also hates women and apparently fake breasts.

He likes to use the "N-word" and thinks that black men travel in packs, raping women who deserve it.

And, of course, his legendary anti-gay bullshit.

"They take it up the ass. [laughs, stands up, bends over, points to anus] This is only for taking a shit." —to Spanish newspaper El Pais when asked what he thinks of gays, in 1991.

"With this look, who's going to think I'm gay? I don't lend myself to that type of confusion. Do I look like a homosexual? Do I talk like them? Do I move like them?" —from the El Pais interview.

"I'll apologize when hell freezes over. They can fuck off." —to Playboy in 1995, about whether he'd issue an apology to gays and lesbians, as GLAAD recommended.

Growing Up Gay - A Childhood in the Closet

The Ongoing Civil Rights Movement

I first came across this when I was 10 years old, in Toronto, and learning about the Underground Railroad. It moved me then, and it moves me now. This is an important part of the ongoing battle for Equality, Civil Rights, and the freedom to live in a culture free of prejudice against minorities.

A biography of this remarkable woman is included in the book "Gay Icons" by Richard Dyer.

AIN'T I A WOMAN?

by Sojourner Truth

Delivered 1851 at the Women's Convention in Akron, Ohio

Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?

Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?

Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.

Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.

Sexual Revolution

I always thought the guys who freaked out about "pride being an excuse for freaks to parade around" was the most cowardly, conformist nonsense. Yes, it IS a time for 'the freaks' to parade around, because if you really think about it, nothing these 'freaks' are doing is harming anyone, only the sensibilities of milquetoast ninnies who, I imagine, want straight people to think that our LGBT sex-lives are either nonexistent, or that we only have sex in the missionary position while dutifully fulfilling a respectable level of decorum: lights off, voices low and deep, going through the motions and not having 'too much' fun.
You know, that even though we're "queer", our sex lives are unimaginative and boring and no different from the boring sex lives of straight people who have so much time on their hands that they can't stop thinking about, and warning about, the sex lives of gay people.

I think there is a level of Sexual Revolution and Liberation tied to The Movement; I sort of reject the notion that Gay Liberation is simply about legal rights, and laws, and "helping gays appear normal.'
Fuck normal. I don't want to be seen as normal. I'd rather eat glass. NATURAL, but not NORMAL. Left-handed people are not 'the norm', they're not 'normal'. They are, however, naturally left-handed.

Fetish fairs, or the rad-wicked stuff I saw at Folsom yesterday offer people a view of what others like. what MANY others like. You don't have to be into any of that stuff, but it sure is interesting to see what others get into, and how they find freedom through sexual exploration. There can indeed be a profound emotional component and element of trust to S&M and domination roleplay.
Sexual Liberation: the freedom for an oppressed group to not only have legal Equality, but the mental equality to actually enjoy and explore their own person INDIVIDUAL sexualities (sexualities, not orientations...) with the freedom to allow themselves to indulge, explore, experiment and figure out just what their sexual appetites are, and how they are about them.

That people will have the freedom to explore and discover their own personal sexuality without fear of what others may think about it, or how they'll judge them. It just seems very clear that not only are LGBT people being denied Equal Rights, but a culture of anti-gay prejudice has also denied many gay people, especially males, the mental freedom to unapologetically and unashamedly explore their own sexual identitities - they're already 'gay', they don't want to be seen as anything "more weird". You know, "gay but normal." That's great if you are, uh, "normal", but I can't help but think that if you're comfortable in your normalcy you won't be offended by someone who's a wee bit more Out There.

like those people who say "those leather guys make us look bad"
uh...how?
what's bad about the leather scene? we're supposed to shy away because some unenlightened people don't understand something and choose to feel negatively toward it? I don't get that, and I think it's ridiculous for members of our community to join in with some "yeah, they're so weird, I'm not like THOSE people" mentality.
Why distance yourself? Why not challenge the idea that these scenes are 'negative'? You don't have to become a leatherdude yourself, lord knows I'm not into the extreme S&M scene, but I'm also not threatened by it, therefore I'm secure enough in myself to defend their right to do it, and to share it with others who may be curious or intrigued.

there is indeed a very strong emotional component to the cross-generational relationships that I and other friends of mine have been involved in. Father Figure? Perhaps, but in a different way from our own biological fathers, of course. The element of protection, nurturing, 'education' in its own way (use your imaginations...), comfort; it's a dynamic that is indeed reflected in gay adult erotica and pornographic films - sexual education so to speak. it's not that i think anyone is looking to actually fuck their biological father, and i'm not even talking about specific roleplay, but embracing the dynamic of an older gay mentor and a protege, be it sexual or platonic.

Some you can grow close to and genuinely look up to. Someone, often wiser, who can look out for you, keep you in check. Experience in life is something you want in a friend.

I'm still finding out who I am, sexually and otherwise. In a culture of oppression and bigotry and overwhelming cultural message demaning we all CONFORM! - I've struggled with the 'sexual' part of my sexuality; for years I was a gay man that was terrified of men. I thank GOD for the men I've known who've let me be open about this with them, and who've helped guide me, safely and securely, into discovering and finally ENJOYING my own sexual identity. That's sorta what a "Daddy" is, you know? The protector, the teacher, the man who helps you find yourself.

I mean, come ON, who DIDN'T fall madly in love with Baron Von Trapp in The Sound of Music.
I want to rest my head on his shoulder and have him tell me that everything is right in the world.
*swoon*
we all just want to lose ourselves in Christopher Plummer, admit it.
or Ed Harris, circa "the abyss"

re-focusing my Thesis Statement to Include the Reality That Gay Men are Living in a Patriarchal Heterosexual Society:

I've known gay men that have issues with performing oral sex, or bottoming - basically a fear of emasculation. They're ok having gay sex, as long as they're taking what they consider to be "the man's role" in the activities.

There are gay men whose sexuality as gay men, and as individuals, is crippled by how they've dealt with a patriarchal heterosexual society's 'ideas' about what Sex Is Supposed To Be, and What A Man Is Supposed To Be.
don't they say that all girls want to marry a man that reminds them of their father?
and that all boys want to marry a woman that reminds them of their mother?

i think with gay men, as many have pointed out, there are often unresolved feelings of neglect, anger, bitterness, about the tensions that arose in our lives. in the cases of some of us, because we're gay. in the cases of others, because the father may have had an addiction, abusive tendencies, or been an absentee parent.

this could affect how some of us deal with males, even on a platonic level and not merely sexual. Some gay men have terrific relationships with their fathers. Some gay men always had a father that was an ideal role model, and someone to aspire to be.

i think there's a beauty in having a relationship, platonic, romantic, sexual or some variation on those themes, with a man you can look up to. a man who can help you see things with a different perspective, as equally of value than gaining a perspective from a young guy, or another guy in your age bracket. Author Ethan Mordden writes about this, and about how it's reflected in gay erotica - perhaps the Brother-lovers and Father-lovers are not just about replicating life's permanent "relationships" but embracing the affection and the rivalry; the tender and the aggressive all at once.
All I know is where I am right now, and it's a place I never thought I'd be, or get to, a few years ago. I'm learning a lot about myself, sexually, and that in turn is teaching me incredible (and specifically non-sexual) shit about myself that I would not otherwise have been able to process.

That through different sexual dynamics, and the emotional liberation to allow myself to experience them for what they are, I've freed myself from my own self-imposed mental/emotional/sexual prison.

Not to get all Shortbus about it, but I've had some "life-changing" epiphanies and moments during sexual activity. Not "the blowjob that saved the world", but the connected sexual encounter that broke through an emotional barrier.

I'm not saying "great sex will change your life" (but i aint saying it can't, either ), I'm saying that the sexual self can be explored, and many people don't allow themselves to express their own individual sexuality, and not because it's 'dangerous' or 'harmful' (i'm not talking about the risky stuff), but because society at large has a perception that it's "weird", or "immoral" even though that last one often can't really be justified
As Macy sings "You've gotta express what is taboo in you and share your freak with the rest of us, 'cause it's a beautiful thing"

Stand Strong with the Truth

Genuinely, what possible rebuttal could one make to the truth this woman speaks? The Marriage Equality vote did NOT make history, it repeated the ugliness of the past. "Opinions" so baseless and willfully ignorant that no Senator dared make them, votes against gay marriage were cast with no reason given.

Logic was ignored and prejudice was embraced. Future generations will be ashamed. Of Diane Savino, however, future generations should be proud.

Thank you, Diane Savino.

Must See This

The men and women who fought back and opened the doors for all of us.

Best Friends

The little non-sequitur slices of randomness that define friendship in my mind. To my bestie back home in Canadialand, I miss you tonnes. That's right, American Spellcheck. TONNES. With two Ns and an E.

Got the Munchies?

SEVENTEEN! The Musical

A Brand New Nightmare (on Elm Street)

Well, I'm a fan of the series. For nostalgic value, they're iconic. The series' mythology is hilarious plot-heavy, actually; the connecting threads between the original film and its sequels are lovingly preposterous. And I love them. The effects work is often replay-worthy. The heroes and heroines had more personality than the cannon-fodder in most other slasher franchises, and the sheer fact that the deaths involved dreams allowed for hallucinatory visuals and concepts that allowed for more imagination and creativity than the 'stalk-and-hack-and slash- the-victim' formula of say the Friday the 13th or Halloween film series', and their legion of cheap imitations (or "rip-offs").

Freddy had personality, he wasn't a faceless killer. Nor a silent one (ugh, from part 4 on it was Wisecrack Central. The humour of the first 3 was replaced by early MTV-generation pandering to the audience). Freddy was played in every film by Robert Englund.

Campy joke-filled, effects-driven, teen-oriented horror films about children fighting against a killer in their dreams, in a world filled with adults who won't believe them, the very adults responsible for Freddy's reign at the box office...I mean reign of terror.

The remake. Slick, artily photographed. More expository (ugh, why does every remake of a horror film have to be Exposition City? We don't NEED to know everything. It's scarier not knowing all the details) than the original, and it actually succeeds in an area that the original films often didn't measure up: it's legitimately scary. The new Freddy makeup is terrifyingly realistic, Jackie Earle Hailey is horrifying. Freddy is actually scary again! No offense to Robert Englund of course, who simply did what he could (which was perfection) in films that make Krueger an unscary anti-hero jokester.

The remake even riffs on the asinine jump-scare ending of the original film with a similarly asinine jump-scare of its own! Utilizing CGI! A little too much!

For real. We don't need CGI in horror, folks. It draws us out of the picture. Horror films don't get huge budgets, the CGI you fuckers can afford never looks good enough. So stop using it. You KNOW what I'm talking about, Mr. CGI Wall That Looked Like a Shitty Pre-Frighteners Effects Test.

Word.

The Frighteners was from 1996, yo.

Why you gotta look all crappier than a film that's 14 years old? Mhmmm. Shoulda just used a latex wall like in the original, muthafuckas.

All in all, a rad night out. A fun scary remake of a series that deserves more credit than it receives.

P.S. Long live the memory of three-times nancy

The Republican Energy Plan - Harnessing the Power of Bigotry!

This is genuinely mind-blowing. I mean, *WOW*. This is the embodiment of the Republican Party in 2010.

Thank you, Anderson Cooper.

You know, when you think about the way Fox News is really just a Republican tool (run by tools, for tools, Tooley McToolersons) the more you realize that it will be studied in media classes for decades to come as America's own "Triumph of the Will".... minus any possible accolades for technical cinematic genius.

(Not-So)-Guilty Pleasures!

Why does this world want to laugh at a guy in his late twenties that reads Jane Austen and owns a couple thousand animated films on DVD?

Why *don't* plebes enjoy Shakespeare?

If it feels so good why do so many people make me feel so wrong for loving it?

:-)

Love, Little Kiwi

Ricky Martin Comes Out

Well, it's as similarly un-shocking as Clay Aiken and Lance Bass, but at least this one *did* have legions of fans (male and female, gay and straight) who might have harboured sexual fantasies. (yes,...even straight male fans, or lesbian fans...never underestimate the powers of latin hips!)

But I'm proud of him. Go, Ricky! While he may not have the fire of a younger fella like Adam Lambert (with his shiny glorious disco balls of brass), I too have to tip my hat to the slower (albeit necessary...) process of those who "Come Out on the sly..."; those who aren't Out right away, and come out later, once the trap of idolization and fandom has been set.

So, thanks Ricky! Hope to see you being an advocate, now :-)

MUAH!

Little Kiwi

Random Lazy Fuckin' Sunday!

SPAM!

The Choking Game

Two of my best buds in the world have written a gorgeous ballad to the ever-popular children's game that kills many every year. Fucking GORGEOUS.

G O R G E O U S.

Sufjan Stevens wishes he wrote this.