Pitbull Love

Just a little snap of the world's loveliest little lady. :-)

and her dog.

;-)

Boys? Men? Masc? Femme?

Continued Conversations With My Mother

Talking with my Mum about more LGBT issues, and our memories of Pride, The Closet, and more.

Fuck, I have an incredible family....

Love, Little Kiwi

Republican Bigotry - 2010

McNuggets and Patti LuPone

What Is Monogamy All About?

Ever have that moment where you start to rethink every 'value' you ever thought you held and started to think that maybe you might not be the person you thought you were?

The concept of monogamy: Something I'm fine with. The concept of a more open sexual life: Something I realized that I'm fine with, too.

Now, I'm not talking about polygamy, per se, but my issues with polygamy are not in how "it affects me" (because it doesn't), but rather the concept of 'freedom' when entering into a polygamous relationship. If polygamy wasn't practiced under the guise of religious expression where (and let's be honest here) women have no real voice or power, and MUST marry lest they anger their deity or their man, well, I'd say it was fine. Polygamy, as it stands now, is mostly practiced by males who 'own' women. If that wasn't true, there'd be more women taking multiple husbands. Fat chance, eh? Ugh, patriarchal societies are so predicable....

I tried breaking the questions in my mind:

complete emotional, sexual (and romantic) trust is not exclusive to monogamy.
it's possible to have a very deep, meaningful and fulfilling relationship with a sexual partner that is not your chosen romantic life partner, and have it be in no way detrimental to your chosen romantic life partner.

(holy, trying to find other ways to say "boyfriend/husband", eh?)

Now, it's not for everyone. and it will not work for every couple. just like monogamy doesn't work for everyone.
gay males have a shared orientation, but that's just our orientation, it's not our sexuality. we each have our own individual sexuality, with our own individual sexual appetites, urges, desires, and capacity for emotional-sexual relations.

and it really goes for all humans. Read the Kinsey research, folks.

and it's not just about *FUCKING*, either.

remember, folk. open-relationship doesn't even necessarily mean "married but with one night stands".
i know i'm not the only human being who enjoys getting to really know and befriend and develop connections with my sexual partners...
it's not just about "being free to fuck a random hot guy".

i've been Out for a while now. i have seen all kinds of relationships thrive, and all kinds of relationship fall apart.
the only universal constant is that we're all diverse.
i thank GOD for the sexual partners I've had over the years, from what i've shared and learned from them, and i'm not just talking sexually, boys.
we're all different. nobody's experience or 'love' is any less rich than anyone else's because one couple is monogamous and one couple is open.

while one couple may say "We're so in love that we don't want to be with anyone else" another couple may say "We're so in love that we can share sexuality with others, and each other, with such trust and understanding that there's no fear or feelings of jealousy"

viva la shortbus generation!

i know how i feel about monogamy. i know how i feel about non-monogamous relationships.

i don't know where i sit in terms of it now, personally, for me. And of course, i cannot say where those thoughts will lead in the near and distant futures.

But I'm thinking. And thinking is always a good thing.

One day, maybe i'll wanna get ----gamously gay married. i can't say poly or mono yet. we haven't decided as a couple.

Riff and Prot Propose Marriage

Which Side of History Will You Be On?

Pop Goes the Culture?

Because Ordering Takeout Can Be Difficult When.........

AND THE PREQUEL

Life Goes On, Bigotry Remains?

My best friend was recently contact, via facebook (of course), by an old friend from high school whom he has not seen or communicated with in about ten years. They were good friends in their early teens, and truth be told, for a very long while Mark was her only friend.

This is an exact transcript of how their first exchange in 10 years played out.

Crystal Schlieker November 30 at 7:40pm
Mark--It is wonderful to find you here. My mom told me that you got great reviews in Omaha last week. I was back for Thanksgiving, and it was too bad that your concert wasn't a week later. I am in Chicago now--if you are ever up here, let me know! I hope you are doing well, and I would love to stay in touch!

Crystal

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Mark Equality Willett November 30 at 10:15pm
How's Chicago? It's good to hear from you.

I guess you should make sure you know who I am before you decide if you want to see my statuses pop up on your page. I'm very out and proud and have become a firm believer in equal rights, especially for gay marriage. It's important to me.
I'm not sure we would see eye to eye on these things. When I was in HS you told me you were afraid for my soul because I was gay and warned me I might go to Hell. It's something that's stuck with me my whole life. I'm not angry or anything, rather, it helped me decide that my life was not wrong and that I was born this way. And knowing I was definitely born this way, I can take comfort that I am still a good person and will be loved in the afterlife for being true to who I was made to be.
I'd love to keep in touch either way, but I'll hold off on us butting heads with my sexuality over Facebook, for now.
I treasure all our memories and friendship.

Fondest,

Mark

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Crystal Schlieker November 30 at 11:05pm
Chicago is good! I have been here just over 2 years, and I love it. It has taken me a while to get adjusted back to America. I don't know if you knew or not, but I was in China for five years after college. I just moved back to America in 2007.

I want to thank you for your candidness and please know, that I would very much like to keep in touch regardless of what we agree or disagree about. For me, facebook is an easy way to do that, but if you perfer to have my email that is also fine. It is true that we do not see eye to eye, but please know that I have always loved you very much. I actually have been hoping to get back in contact with you for a long time. My beliefs are unchanged, though perhaps now at the age of 29, I am sure I would have more tact in expressing them, then I did ten years ago! Please know that I am not looking for a facebook argument, or any kind of argument for that matter! I have many friends in all different walks of life, and I am not one to get into cyber discussions about much. So, as long as you are also ok with seeing my statuses pop on your page, I am also fine.

I have always loved you as my good friend and also remember and treasure so many memories! I would really like to know more about what you have been up to with performing, etc. My performing is now limited to a great show for 2nd and 3rd graders. But I love it...what can I say.

Crystal

Giving Thanks to Our Heroes

The Voice of a Demographic

Buddies

Born Gay into the World of the Latter Day Saints

I received this email today from a friend. It's a forward of an email he sent to a member of his family. My friend is gay. My friend was born into a Mormon family. He has since left the church.

I asked him, today, if he still identified as Mormon.

His reply:

"I attended church growing up, but I never really believed it since I was old enough to think critically about it. I believe there's the possibility of something out there, but nothing we're capable of comprehending literally"

I think his letter speaks volumes about the effect this religion has on many LGBT people born into it, into a world full of rules and laws that restrict who they are as human beings.

This is his letter------

"It's hard not to feel "judged" or "disliked" when you write things such as "Please understand that this is the plan of the same sex issue people...it is not just "acceptance", it is to silence and destroy their opposition, to redefine religion and ultimately to erode faith in an all knowing and loving God," being fully aware that I fall into this category. Your own words do nothing but show your disdain for me and the rest of the gay community, including those completely comfortable with their sexuality and their Christianity. There's even those who struggle to maintain their sexuality as well as their LDS-upbringing, generally to the detriment of both. I feel pity for those that are so conflicted. Your own words, were they to be read by a teenager struggling with this issue and had respect for you, would be put in danger of taking their own life. It's not surprising, yet so tragic, that Utah leads the nation in suicides for boys at this difficult time (15-24). http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,635201873,00.html How many of them do you think are children of people who feel and speak just the way you do? Empathy is not something native to many Mormons, more like "our way or the highway" (as evidenced by my brother who referred to those in disagreement with the Church's standing on Prop 8 as "not true Mormons."

To clarify why I may not speak to you respectfully, it's because in these and many ways I don't have much respect for you. Your words are dangerous to those who are most vulnerable. I'm on a couple social sites that are geared specifically towards gays/lesbians. I make it clear in my profile that I was born and raised Mormon, and at least once a month or two I get someone from somewhere in the country who messages me struggling with the very issues I described above, asking for my advice and how I got through it. I feel bad I can't help them more, since my journey coming out was much easier, since I had gotten over the whole "burning in hell" thing years before. And no, I don't automatically advocate them leaving the church and say that they'll for sure feel much better once they do. I can't wait for the day when they don't have to go through this at all, because I believe the church will rescind their policy of discriminating against their gay and lesbian members (just like they changed their policy about "dark-skinned people"). After all, it's all about gaining more members, and if a policy, such as doctrinated racism, becomes unpopular to the public, then the Chuch will eventually change their stance. And once again, the Church will do a fantastic job of re-writing their own history to their members to make them feel comfortable that it was never an issue at all. No one will have the need to "redefine religion" because the church will do it itself in order to survive in a more progressive world.

If you had the heart to listen to these kids, I don't see how you could possibly feel like this is just some "choice" that one day people wake up and decide they want to try... For most it's years of confusion, fighting it, guilt, religious contradiction, and fear of abandonment by those who claim to love them. Some of these kids become adults who get married and have children, being told by church leaders that once they're married these feelings will just go away. This horrid policy that was the norm 10-30 years ago is destroying families all over. After all, it's no longer just the husband/wife that becomes affected, it's their spouse and children. Luckily that policy changed, and now (from what I hear from these kids and adults still attending church) bishops tell them to remain celibate until they "get over it." Though still a sad, impossible mandate, at least it allows the person time to figure it out on their own before jumping the gun and getting involved with someone else.

I truly wish you had to go through what the "not true Mormon" parents of gays and lesbians did, and their conflicts with loving their children and still feeling part of the LDS Church (or hey, even the ones who did decide to abandon their child; I'm sure even most of them felt it was a difficult choice). After all, hearts and minds are softened one by one, as the general public discovers more and more that they are close to someone who is gay. As much as you like to believe in these "umbrella gay groups" that tell me how to think and behave, I don't need to be told that I want to be with someone I love and cherish, or that I would like to be accepted fully by family. Neither do the rest of the gays and lesbians, at any point in their life. If you were capable of thinking about gays and lesbians as fellow human beings (brothers, sisters, parents, children, best friends, coworkers, etc.) rather than "same sex issue people," you would know it too."

Thank You for your honesty, my friend.

Maybe God is Tryin' to Tell You Somethin'?

Straight Acting? Str8-Acting? Bull-Shit?

Buddies Hanging Out

Sometimes One Person Can Liberate Many

Beautiful, Eh?



Be Silly. Laugh more. Dance more. Care less about what you think others will think

Love, Little Kiwi

Drunk Voicemail Time!

Capitalism: A Love Story

Random Crazy Thoughts

Juice

JUICE.....and more. Much more! Much MUCH more!

Love, Little Kiwi

Time To Open Your Eyes

I love this ad. Love it. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. Simple. Effective. Rad.