The Ongoing Civil Rights Movement

I first came across this when I was 10 years old, in Toronto, and learning about the Underground Railroad. It moved me then, and it moves me now. This is an important part of the ongoing battle for Equality, Civil Rights, and the freedom to live in a culture free of prejudice against minorities.

A biography of this remarkable woman is included in the book "Gay Icons" by Richard Dyer.

AIN'T I A WOMAN?

by Sojourner Truth

Delivered 1851 at the Women's Convention in Akron, Ohio

Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?

Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?

Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.

Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.

Sexual Revolution

I always thought the guys who freaked out about "pride being an excuse for freaks to parade around" was the most cowardly, conformist nonsense. Yes, it IS a time for 'the freaks' to parade around, because if you really think about it, nothing these 'freaks' are doing is harming anyone, only the sensibilities of milquetoast ninnies who, I imagine, want straight people to think that our LGBT sex-lives are either nonexistent, or that we only have sex in the missionary position while dutifully fulfilling a respectable level of decorum: lights off, voices low and deep, going through the motions and not having 'too much' fun.
You know, that even though we're "queer", our sex lives are unimaginative and boring and no different from the boring sex lives of straight people who have so much time on their hands that they can't stop thinking about, and warning about, the sex lives of gay people.

I think there is a level of Sexual Revolution and Liberation tied to The Movement; I sort of reject the notion that Gay Liberation is simply about legal rights, and laws, and "helping gays appear normal.'
Fuck normal. I don't want to be seen as normal. I'd rather eat glass. NATURAL, but not NORMAL. Left-handed people are not 'the norm', they're not 'normal'. They are, however, naturally left-handed.

Fetish fairs, or the rad-wicked stuff I saw at Folsom yesterday offer people a view of what others like. what MANY others like. You don't have to be into any of that stuff, but it sure is interesting to see what others get into, and how they find freedom through sexual exploration. There can indeed be a profound emotional component and element of trust to S&M and domination roleplay.
Sexual Liberation: the freedom for an oppressed group to not only have legal Equality, but the mental equality to actually enjoy and explore their own person INDIVIDUAL sexualities (sexualities, not orientations...) with the freedom to allow themselves to indulge, explore, experiment and figure out just what their sexual appetites are, and how they are about them.

That people will have the freedom to explore and discover their own personal sexuality without fear of what others may think about it, or how they'll judge them. It just seems very clear that not only are LGBT people being denied Equal Rights, but a culture of anti-gay prejudice has also denied many gay people, especially males, the mental freedom to unapologetically and unashamedly explore their own sexual identitities - they're already 'gay', they don't want to be seen as anything "more weird". You know, "gay but normal." That's great if you are, uh, "normal", but I can't help but think that if you're comfortable in your normalcy you won't be offended by someone who's a wee bit more Out There.

like those people who say "those leather guys make us look bad"
uh...how?
what's bad about the leather scene? we're supposed to shy away because some unenlightened people don't understand something and choose to feel negatively toward it? I don't get that, and I think it's ridiculous for members of our community to join in with some "yeah, they're so weird, I'm not like THOSE people" mentality.
Why distance yourself? Why not challenge the idea that these scenes are 'negative'? You don't have to become a leatherdude yourself, lord knows I'm not into the extreme S&M scene, but I'm also not threatened by it, therefore I'm secure enough in myself to defend their right to do it, and to share it with others who may be curious or intrigued.

there is indeed a very strong emotional component to the cross-generational relationships that I and other friends of mine have been involved in. Father Figure? Perhaps, but in a different way from our own biological fathers, of course. The element of protection, nurturing, 'education' in its own way (use your imaginations...), comfort; it's a dynamic that is indeed reflected in gay adult erotica and pornographic films - sexual education so to speak. it's not that i think anyone is looking to actually fuck their biological father, and i'm not even talking about specific roleplay, but embracing the dynamic of an older gay mentor and a protege, be it sexual or platonic.

Some you can grow close to and genuinely look up to. Someone, often wiser, who can look out for you, keep you in check. Experience in life is something you want in a friend.

I'm still finding out who I am, sexually and otherwise. In a culture of oppression and bigotry and overwhelming cultural message demaning we all CONFORM! - I've struggled with the 'sexual' part of my sexuality; for years I was a gay man that was terrified of men. I thank GOD for the men I've known who've let me be open about this with them, and who've helped guide me, safely and securely, into discovering and finally ENJOYING my own sexual identity. That's sorta what a "Daddy" is, you know? The protector, the teacher, the man who helps you find yourself.

I mean, come ON, who DIDN'T fall madly in love with Baron Von Trapp in The Sound of Music.
I want to rest my head on his shoulder and have him tell me that everything is right in the world.
*swoon*
we all just want to lose ourselves in Christopher Plummer, admit it.
or Ed Harris, circa "the abyss"

re-focusing my Thesis Statement to Include the Reality That Gay Men are Living in a Patriarchal Heterosexual Society:

I've known gay men that have issues with performing oral sex, or bottoming - basically a fear of emasculation. They're ok having gay sex, as long as they're taking what they consider to be "the man's role" in the activities.

There are gay men whose sexuality as gay men, and as individuals, is crippled by how they've dealt with a patriarchal heterosexual society's 'ideas' about what Sex Is Supposed To Be, and What A Man Is Supposed To Be.
don't they say that all girls want to marry a man that reminds them of their father?
and that all boys want to marry a woman that reminds them of their mother?

i think with gay men, as many have pointed out, there are often unresolved feelings of neglect, anger, bitterness, about the tensions that arose in our lives. in the cases of some of us, because we're gay. in the cases of others, because the father may have had an addiction, abusive tendencies, or been an absentee parent.

this could affect how some of us deal with males, even on a platonic level and not merely sexual. Some gay men have terrific relationships with their fathers. Some gay men always had a father that was an ideal role model, and someone to aspire to be.

i think there's a beauty in having a relationship, platonic, romantic, sexual or some variation on those themes, with a man you can look up to. a man who can help you see things with a different perspective, as equally of value than gaining a perspective from a young guy, or another guy in your age bracket. Author Ethan Mordden writes about this, and about how it's reflected in gay erotica - perhaps the Brother-lovers and Father-lovers are not just about replicating life's permanent "relationships" but embracing the affection and the rivalry; the tender and the aggressive all at once.
All I know is where I am right now, and it's a place I never thought I'd be, or get to, a few years ago. I'm learning a lot about myself, sexually, and that in turn is teaching me incredible (and specifically non-sexual) shit about myself that I would not otherwise have been able to process.

That through different sexual dynamics, and the emotional liberation to allow myself to experience them for what they are, I've freed myself from my own self-imposed mental/emotional/sexual prison.

Not to get all Shortbus about it, but I've had some "life-changing" epiphanies and moments during sexual activity. Not "the blowjob that saved the world", but the connected sexual encounter that broke through an emotional barrier.

I'm not saying "great sex will change your life" (but i aint saying it can't, either ), I'm saying that the sexual self can be explored, and many people don't allow themselves to express their own individual sexuality, and not because it's 'dangerous' or 'harmful' (i'm not talking about the risky stuff), but because society at large has a perception that it's "weird", or "immoral" even though that last one often can't really be justified
As Macy sings "You've gotta express what is taboo in you and share your freak with the rest of us, 'cause it's a beautiful thing"

Stand Strong with the Truth

Genuinely, what possible rebuttal could one make to the truth this woman speaks? The Marriage Equality vote did NOT make history, it repeated the ugliness of the past. "Opinions" so baseless and willfully ignorant that no Senator dared make them, votes against gay marriage were cast with no reason given.

Logic was ignored and prejudice was embraced. Future generations will be ashamed. Of Diane Savino, however, future generations should be proud.

Thank you, Diane Savino.

Must See This

The men and women who fought back and opened the doors for all of us.

Best Friends

The little non-sequitur slices of randomness that define friendship in my mind. To my bestie back home in Canadialand, I miss you tonnes. That's right, American Spellcheck. TONNES. With two Ns and an E.

Got the Munchies?

SEVENTEEN! The Musical

A Brand New Nightmare (on Elm Street)

Well, I'm a fan of the series. For nostalgic value, they're iconic. The series' mythology is hilarious plot-heavy, actually; the connecting threads between the original film and its sequels are lovingly preposterous. And I love them. The effects work is often replay-worthy. The heroes and heroines had more personality than the cannon-fodder in most other slasher franchises, and the sheer fact that the deaths involved dreams allowed for hallucinatory visuals and concepts that allowed for more imagination and creativity than the 'stalk-and-hack-and slash- the-victim' formula of say the Friday the 13th or Halloween film series', and their legion of cheap imitations (or "rip-offs").

Freddy had personality, he wasn't a faceless killer. Nor a silent one (ugh, from part 4 on it was Wisecrack Central. The humour of the first 3 was replaced by early MTV-generation pandering to the audience). Freddy was played in every film by Robert Englund.

Campy joke-filled, effects-driven, teen-oriented horror films about children fighting against a killer in their dreams, in a world filled with adults who won't believe them, the very adults responsible for Freddy's reign at the box office...I mean reign of terror.

The remake. Slick, artily photographed. More expository (ugh, why does every remake of a horror film have to be Exposition City? We don't NEED to know everything. It's scarier not knowing all the details) than the original, and it actually succeeds in an area that the original films often didn't measure up: it's legitimately scary. The new Freddy makeup is terrifyingly realistic, Jackie Earle Hailey is horrifying. Freddy is actually scary again! No offense to Robert Englund of course, who simply did what he could (which was perfection) in films that make Krueger an unscary anti-hero jokester.

The remake even riffs on the asinine jump-scare ending of the original film with a similarly asinine jump-scare of its own! Utilizing CGI! A little too much!

For real. We don't need CGI in horror, folks. It draws us out of the picture. Horror films don't get huge budgets, the CGI you fuckers can afford never looks good enough. So stop using it. You KNOW what I'm talking about, Mr. CGI Wall That Looked Like a Shitty Pre-Frighteners Effects Test.

Word.

The Frighteners was from 1996, yo.

Why you gotta look all crappier than a film that's 14 years old? Mhmmm. Shoulda just used a latex wall like in the original, muthafuckas.

All in all, a rad night out. A fun scary remake of a series that deserves more credit than it receives.

P.S. Long live the memory of three-times nancy

The Republican Energy Plan - Harnessing the Power of Bigotry!

This is genuinely mind-blowing. I mean, *WOW*. This is the embodiment of the Republican Party in 2010.

Thank you, Anderson Cooper.

You know, when you think about the way Fox News is really just a Republican tool (run by tools, for tools, Tooley McToolersons) the more you realize that it will be studied in media classes for decades to come as America's own "Triumph of the Will".... minus any possible accolades for technical cinematic genius.

(Not-So)-Guilty Pleasures!

Why does this world want to laugh at a guy in his late twenties that reads Jane Austen and owns a couple thousand animated films on DVD?

Why *don't* plebes enjoy Shakespeare?

If it feels so good why do so many people make me feel so wrong for loving it?

:-)

Love, Little Kiwi

Ricky Martin Comes Out

Well, it's as similarly un-shocking as Clay Aiken and Lance Bass, but at least this one *did* have legions of fans (male and female, gay and straight) who might have harboured sexual fantasies. (yes,...even straight male fans, or lesbian fans...never underestimate the powers of latin hips!)

But I'm proud of him. Go, Ricky! While he may not have the fire of a younger fella like Adam Lambert (with his shiny glorious disco balls of brass), I too have to tip my hat to the slower (albeit necessary...) process of those who "Come Out on the sly..."; those who aren't Out right away, and come out later, once the trap of idolization and fandom has been set.

So, thanks Ricky! Hope to see you being an advocate, now :-)

MUAH!

Little Kiwi

Random Lazy Fuckin' Sunday!

SPAM!

The Choking Game

Two of my best buds in the world have written a gorgeous ballad to the ever-popular children's game that kills many every year. Fucking GORGEOUS.

G O R G E O U S.

Sufjan Stevens wishes he wrote this.

DONT! The Musical

Pitbull Love

Just a little snap of the world's loveliest little lady. :-)

and her dog.

;-)

Boys? Men? Masc? Femme?

Continued Conversations With My Mother

Talking with my Mum about more LGBT issues, and our memories of Pride, The Closet, and more.

Fuck, I have an incredible family....

Love, Little Kiwi

Republican Bigotry - 2010

McNuggets and Patti LuPone

What Is Monogamy All About?

Ever have that moment where you start to rethink every 'value' you ever thought you held and started to think that maybe you might not be the person you thought you were?

The concept of monogamy: Something I'm fine with. The concept of a more open sexual life: Something I realized that I'm fine with, too.

Now, I'm not talking about polygamy, per se, but my issues with polygamy are not in how "it affects me" (because it doesn't), but rather the concept of 'freedom' when entering into a polygamous relationship. If polygamy wasn't practiced under the guise of religious expression where (and let's be honest here) women have no real voice or power, and MUST marry lest they anger their deity or their man, well, I'd say it was fine. Polygamy, as it stands now, is mostly practiced by males who 'own' women. If that wasn't true, there'd be more women taking multiple husbands. Fat chance, eh? Ugh, patriarchal societies are so predicable....

I tried breaking the questions in my mind:

complete emotional, sexual (and romantic) trust is not exclusive to monogamy.
it's possible to have a very deep, meaningful and fulfilling relationship with a sexual partner that is not your chosen romantic life partner, and have it be in no way detrimental to your chosen romantic life partner.

(holy, trying to find other ways to say "boyfriend/husband", eh?)

Now, it's not for everyone. and it will not work for every couple. just like monogamy doesn't work for everyone.
gay males have a shared orientation, but that's just our orientation, it's not our sexuality. we each have our own individual sexuality, with our own individual sexual appetites, urges, desires, and capacity for emotional-sexual relations.

and it really goes for all humans. Read the Kinsey research, folks.

and it's not just about *FUCKING*, either.

remember, folk. open-relationship doesn't even necessarily mean "married but with one night stands".
i know i'm not the only human being who enjoys getting to really know and befriend and develop connections with my sexual partners...
it's not just about "being free to fuck a random hot guy".

i've been Out for a while now. i have seen all kinds of relationships thrive, and all kinds of relationship fall apart.
the only universal constant is that we're all diverse.
i thank GOD for the sexual partners I've had over the years, from what i've shared and learned from them, and i'm not just talking sexually, boys.
we're all different. nobody's experience or 'love' is any less rich than anyone else's because one couple is monogamous and one couple is open.

while one couple may say "We're so in love that we don't want to be with anyone else" another couple may say "We're so in love that we can share sexuality with others, and each other, with such trust and understanding that there's no fear or feelings of jealousy"

viva la shortbus generation!

i know how i feel about monogamy. i know how i feel about non-monogamous relationships.

i don't know where i sit in terms of it now, personally, for me. And of course, i cannot say where those thoughts will lead in the near and distant futures.

But I'm thinking. And thinking is always a good thing.

One day, maybe i'll wanna get ----gamously gay married. i can't say poly or mono yet. we haven't decided as a couple.

Riff and Prot Propose Marriage

Which Side of History Will You Be On?

Pop Goes the Culture?