Little Kiwi and Bauhaus

Little Kiwi and Bauhaus
A Boy and His Dog

Saturday, 27 September 2008

When Crazy People go Crazy

Oh, the online gay world. You can meet new friends, get back in touch with old friends, say "Hi" to some guy you don't have the courage to approach in person, find the love of your life, or find the love of your night. Well, those are the good options. But what about the crap?

Beyond the people who post fake photos of themselves....which is just beyond lame. I mean , they're usually identifiable because there aren't many genuine Abercrombie & Fitch models that live in Toronto. Or they get the math wrong. The photograph is some big tall hot muscled slice of man, and the profile says he's 6'2" and 145lbs? Bad math. Wrong math. Fake pic.

And then you get the Crazies. Crazies are crazy. They message you nonstop, you start out being diplomatic, or maybe you just ignore them. I do diplomacy. If they have something nice to say, I'll send them a nice response. The problem arises when they take this response, no matter how brief yet polite, and interpret it to be the opening of a dialogue. Which it isn't. Even replying with one word (or syllable) doesn't work.
"Hey man, so what's up this weekend??"
-just chillin with friends
"Hey, cool! Where you guys gonna chill???"
"That's cool. I'm going to 5ive!" (that's where lame people always went)
have fun.

Sometimes this will be followed up weeks later with "Hey man! Long time no speak, whats up?!?"
Who are these people? It's borderline sociopathic to project all of your WANTS from this person on them to such a degree that even their complete lack of interest doesn't faze you! It's like begging for abuse. Please! Ignore me MORE!

Or you get just-plain-crazies, like this motherfucker I'm going to tell you about....
35. Italian. boasts that he is "str8acting/lkng" (everyone should know how much I positively LOATHE that term. It's self-hating homophobia.)
I don't find his pictures even remotely attractive. His profile is riddled with spelling and grammatical errrors. In short, I wouldn't fuck this man with a 10 foot cock.
Just not gonna happen. I don't even care to particularly talk to him. It's the internet, nobody *owes* anybody anything.
For like....years, this dude has sent me messages. I've always been diplomatic, I've always been friendly, and I've always said that, nothing personal, but I'm just not interested.
Well, today he went crazy. The following is a copy-and-paste job of our messages. Why did I waste time? I was dying my hair navy blue and had 30 mins to kill. And I was a little bit stoned. Big shock, eh? *HEHEHEHE*, plus, I was enjoying the ridiculousness of it all. Sure he's crazy, but now I get to blog about it!
Oh, italguy, from, you're a fucking lunatic.
--------------------------------------------------------------LittleKiwi= Green, CrazyItalGuy=Red
27 Sep 2008, 14:35italguy: i have to be honest u make me hard bro. i do think the tuth should be told besides u never chat me up :()
27 Sep 2008, 14:40You: hey dude, thanks very much, have a rockin weekend :-)
27 Sep 2008, 14:44italguy: why dont we ever hang out man i obviouosly DO think ur cute u seem cool im not like most bello
27 Sep 2008, 14:48You: thanks man, nothing personal, I'm just not interested, and i don't associate with people that use the term "str8-acting/lkg". i find it offensive. sorry.
27 Sep 2008, 14:48italguy: well i mean im not over gay sheesh cant u try to get to giveing a dude a chance.
27 Sep 2008, 14:51You: what *is* "over-gay"?better yet, what would be wrong with someone who is *over gay*?i'd rather hang out someone who is proudly, comfortably "over gay" than with a gay person who wants people to think that they're straight.
27 Sep 2008, 14:52italguy: NO man i am not saying that i am saying most dont beleive me that i am gay
27 Sep 2008, 14:58You: dude, nothing personal, just not interested.
27 Sep 2008, 14:59italguy: io dont care u seemt o be all about showing ur stupid ody anyways like most gay guys do ur not that nice dude dont know why u would say ur nice ur actualyl kind of a awsshole to be honest to chat with ur too HIGH MAINTENACE
27 Sep 2008, 15:02You: *sigh*if i'm so stupid then stop sending me messages. I'm not interested. it happens. there are tonnes of people who aren't interested in me. it happens. no big deal. me not being interested in, or attracted to, you doesn't make me an asshole. i never asked you to chat with me. i said i wasn't interested. you should have just left it at that. sorry, bye. have a good weekend.
27 Sep 2008, 15:03italguy: whatever mr IMAGEsuck it bitch lol
*at this point, Italguy sends me three pictures of his absolutely HIDEOUS penis.*
27 Sep 2008, 15:05You: and i don't like your cock. please bother somebody else. i've said i'm not interested, that's as simple as it is. now stop being pyschopathic.goodbye.
27 Sep 2008, 15:07italguy: i dont liek ur FACE u look like u got HIV so pls DONT respnd besides im not into fags with the head in the over trying to act HOT cuz honestly ur body is the ONLY decent thing the rest is BUTT UGLY dude trust me
27 Sep 2008, 15:07italguy: and ur too FUCKING GAY LOOKING tooo gay and NO i dont like faggy ppl LIKE YOUYOU LOOK LIKE UR HIV POZZZCHEERS FAGGOT

27 Sep 2008, 15:32You: :-)hilarious. so you admit to obsessing over someone who's butt-ugly. congrats :-) I'm out, proud, gay. proud 100% . not at all ashamed to be gay. love it. gay gay gay. marching in the pride parade with my parents. gay and proud.what's hilarious, is you think i
1. care what you think. 2. have forgotten that approximately 30 mins ago, i made you "so hard"bye bye crazy. sorry i don't find you attractive, but i'm sure someone else will. bye bye. stop obsessing over me. it makes you seem insane.

27 Sep 2008, 15:34italguy: nah WAS JUST HORNY trust me ur NOT my type at all and im taken latess
27 Sep 2008, 15:36You: awww, you're taken? too bad. i bet the guy you wanted to cheat on with me is a real prize ;-)i love how i've "not" been your type for a few years, and yet you still sent me messages on a regular basis. sorry dude, i don't buy it. i like being me, i like everything about me, and some troll with bad spelling who's just has his ego smacked isn't going to make me feel bad for one second. get over your obsession with me. it's borderline insane.
italguy: lmfao my obsession with you? nah just wanted to get off dude trust me you are NOT EVEN CLOSE TO MY TYPE I LIEKMEN NOT HIV LOOKING TWINKY LIL FEMME FAGS LIEK YOUyour nothing dude at all that is why u show pics of you like that your just some typical lil faggot lol
You: :-)dude. you're certifiable CRAZY. CRAAAZY. but thanks for your messages, i've saved them all and am posting them for all to see, as they're fucking HILARIOUS.:-)thanks!
italguy: whatever u stupid fuck i could care less man do what you want ur certifiable a FAGGOT later loser dont message me anymore please btw Michael says hi nasty faggot lolcheers loser (*note, I don't know who Michael is, but I'm guessing he's Crazy's imaginary friend. also bald, fat and 38)
You: cuckoo....cuckoo...cuckoo....

So that was that. There may be more, but I had to hop in the shower and get the dye out. I look fucking AWESOME. Hehehe. And, i got a funny example of craziness out of it! woohoo!

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Trip Away!

Ok, my friend James, in London, made this video.
It's quite possibly the coolest shit ever. Seriously. This could be the official music video, it's that fucking cool.

Sunday, 21 September 2008

If I Owned A Restaurant....

....I'd give it a funny name! A name that people would remember, because it's funny!

For example, a kebab place, small, takeout, ideal for the young, drunk, stoned and hungry.
And I'd call is Abra-Kebab-ra. Because it's fun to say!
Imagine, you're stoned-and-or-drunk, and you need food, and your friend says "How about we go to Abra-Kebab-ra?"
YOU'D LAUGH! And then your laughter would convince you that, yes, that would be the best plan of action.

Or perhaps you prefer falafels. I don't know, maybe you're Jewish, or a hippie, or you just like garlicky salty ball things ( I confess to not having a clue as to what a falafel is actually made of...)
But if you're hungry, and it's 3am, and you're wasted, where you gonna eat?
"JUST FALAFS!" JUST. FALAFS! Doesn't that fucking rock!? I'd eat there! And I'd laugh whilst eating! Everyone would be happy!

Just thought I'd share.

Little Kiwi Loves Bauhaus

Little Kiwi Loves Bauhaus
Good Dog!