Bars and clubs are interesting in that you see that not much as changed since high school. Cliques still exist. Duh. What's sad is that it really does seem that they exist for the same shallow reasons. People with the same body-type hanging out in a crew of guys with the exact same body-type.
I guess part of what I always liked about being in the "drama crowd" was our shared bond of drama. Both professional and personal (hehehe!). But it was neat to see how it played out over the years. I remember one girl who was chubby in freshman year, only to lose a tonne of weight over the summer, and returned as a skinny sophomore, who was now able to hang out with the very girls who'd excluded her the year before. Who cares if she had to be hospitalized for complications from bulimia by the end of junior year, she was finally cool...right?
Or living here in NYC, where we see the boys who come from smaller towns who realize that by going to the gym every day, they'll attract the attention of other guys who go to the gym every day. Some guys never leave the circle they gain entry to, all the while maintaining the physique required to keep their membership. Some guys tire of it (*elegant curtsy*) rather quickly and seek a new scene.
I did it. I was a shallow twat and wanted, as if afflicted with some fucked-up Aesthetic Stockholm Syndrome, the approval and acceptance of people I really didn't even know, who didn't know me, yet had still managed to be utterly dismissive dicks to me in public. It didn't last long, thank God. Because not only was I bored senseless by the world I was given access to, I was also fed up of working out all the time.
Life turns up empty, and you're so dissatisfied, because you're not actually listening to yourself and doing what you want: you're still acting, perpetually auditioning for the lead role in someone else's idea of your life, instead of changing the plot yourself and claiming it.
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