My Last Visit From Santa Claus

I cannot quite remember exactly how old I was when Santa made his last visit to my house, but I do remember the last present he ever gave me.

My sister and I sat by the tree on Christmas morning, and amidst the presents for all were two special-seeming, identically-wrapped gift boxes for us with our names on them.  We unwrapped them and inside each was a classic traditional teddy bear and a personalized letter for each of us. The letter was from Santa Claus himself.  I remember reading it with a smile on my face, and a lump in my throat.

He started by wishing us a Happy Christmas, and thanking us for the milk and cookies we left out for him, and the carrots we'd left for his reindeer.  He explained to us that as we were growing up, the things we now wanted for Christmas were things that parents can buy in stores; things for big kids, things for kids who are only a few short (yet blindingly fast in their passing) years away from becoming teens - video games, music, electronic devices like a walkman or "CD player".
Santa explained that at his workshop he makes toys for little kids; he doesn't make CDs and Nintendo games.  And so, he wanted us to have one last present from him,  something classic to remember him by - The Teddy Bear.  One Last Toy to treasure as a memory of his years visiting us every Christmas.  He thanked us for the years of milk and cookies.  Told us how wonderful it was to have watched us grow up, and how Good we were as brother and sister, always looking out for each other, taking care of each other, and being kind to one another.  He reminded us to always do that, and that he would see us again one day when we were grown up and had children of our own, delivering toys for them on Christmas morning.

I do remember being in the first grade, which for me was being in a class split in half with second-grade students, who did love to impress the first-graders with their expansive knowledge of the world.
Some of those kids would tease us around Christmastime about "the truth about Santa Claus" - and I remember the actual anxiety those "truths" gave me - a combination of embarrassment, fear, crushed hope, disbelief, and a sadness (I suppose) about what seemed to be One Less Magical Thing in this world.  Not wanting to seem like a naive kid, but not wanting to give up on magic.
I remember being at a friend's house and his mother saying to us, after my friend explained to her what the second-graders had said, that "Santa is real for all who believe in him."   Having recently been read "The Polar Express" in class, where a young boy who asks Santa for one of the bells from the sleigh, this sounded familiar.  When the boy in the story gets home, and rings it, his parents cannot hear it and claim it must be broken.

"At one time, most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old, the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe."
            - Chris Van Allsburg, "The Polar Express"

It can be a tricky process of navigating how to gently ease children into the maturation process without rushing them,  or condescending to them or babying them to the point that they become socially-awkward and "behind" their peer group.

I must make a confession to Santa - I already knew that he wasn't the one who gave me the Nintendo Entertainment System, before he wrote me his final letter.  But that didn't make that letter any less special.  I remember giving my Mum and Dad a really long hug that Christmas.  Part of it was simply a child's needing comfort after a confirmation of something I'd reluctantly already known.  The other part was how incredibly moved I was by the gesture Santa had made for my sister and I, and realizing how lucky I was that Santa had chosen to say what he'd said, in the way that he'd said it, showing that he completely understood what it means to be a kid going through the process of growing up.

Thanks, Santa.

*edit
This Bear is not that Last Teddy Bear. That Last Teddy was given to a shelter many years ago.  This here is Lachlan "Lachie" Mor - Big Bear, a gift from my Granny and Papa from Scotland when my sister and I were toddlers. He ain't going anywhere. ;-)

How Not To Start a Conversation On Grindr....

What to say instead? Here's a brilliant suggestion: something worth replying to.  You might, for example, make reference to the content of the profile of the guy you're planning to message.  Like citing a specific thing he's said.  His profile says nothing? Then you're likely responding merely to his photo - in which case save yourself the time and get to the point.  That said, if you're looking for "more" in your Grindr-interactions, consider only messaging people who seem to have something to say, and whose profiles give you "Ins" to initiate conversation.

Or, simply keep doing what you're already doing, but if it's not getting the results you want then .... well..... put two and two together: you need to change your game.

Yes. No Grindr shame here.  Have fun, happy Grinding, make good choices.

I Love My Non-Gay Parents

Sometimes ironic satirical statements are lost on the masses, and sometimes young folks who are still in their collegiate "Me-Against-The-World" phase see attacks where there are none.  In any case, just hoping this clears up any confusion as to what this button of mine means.

:-)

Stop Being Part of the Problem, Not the Solution

Grady Smith posted a video where he "comes out", his own words, as a Gay Christian - who chooses celibacy because he thinks it's a sin for gay men to "act on" their feelings.


His supporters have chimed in, and it's clear that they feel what I'm pretty sure Grady feels (he's yet to address my questions clearly,  so I'll update when he does so) - that non-Christians go to "Hell" when they die.  Because if you don't have "faith in Jesus", you go to Hell.

So, Anne Frank is in Hell. With Gandhi.  And the more than 6 million Jews exterminated in the Holocaust. And everyone else who doesn't follow their one narrow interpretation of one of the world's many religions and denominations within said religions.

Here's Grady's video. Below is my rebuttal video, and forgive me for not being more articulate - I popped the thing off in a few minutes.



 Hey, I'm a gay Christian. How come my church doesn't demand celibacy from me? Oh, right. Because the denomination and congregation I was raised in isn't a dogmatic cult. We don't even believe in Hell. Or exclusivity. Or that there's "one true faith."

Grady has disabled the comments on his video, which is sort of like when NOM or Fox News disables the comments on their videos: when too many folks come in to rationally and intellectually shred your arguments like tissue paper, it's the coward's choice to pretend those comments were never made.  Maybe Grady can get a job at Fox News...

However, some of Grady's supporters chimed in on my page.  Here are some from "Jake Reusink" - I've been around long enough to know that the evasive double-speak can only last so long, and eventually Jake Reusink just cops to the truth - he believes that "All Non-Christians Go To Hell", which of course is also the long-abandoned proposed sequel to Don Bluth's animated "All Dogs Go To Heaven."

Flippancy aside, these beliefs are harmful.  Very harmful.  Religious Beliefs are currently the number-one enemy of LGBT Equality - which is not to say that all religions are anti-gay.  But Grady's is.  As is Jake Reusink's.  "You can be gay, you just can't act on it."

Bollocks.

So, I posted by rebuttal and Grady terminated the comments section on his video.  I highly doubt he
will get his parents on camera as I asked him to. I highly doubt he will be clearly direct about the specifics of his beliefs.
But his supporter here, Mr. Jake Reusink, spelled them out.  And doesn't even seem to realize how ugly they are.  Here they are, for your enjoyment.

A funny thing happens when guys like Grady Smith and Jake Reusink reveal their core belief about "Hell" - they instantly prove that they don't have Faith - just Fear. They don't love God. They don't love Christ.  They believe that if one doesn't then that person goes to "Hell".

Thus these two boys do not Love God nor have "faith in Christ" - what they are doing is merely lip-service; done to ensure that they don't go to Hell, which their chosen religious cults have driven into their minds.  

Who is more generous, the person who Gives because they feel that Giving is the right thing to do, or the person who Gives because they think "God wants them to?"

If you love God you cannot believe in Hell. The second you expose your belief in Hell you prove to everyone that your faith hinges entirely around "doing whatever you feel you need to to not go to Hell."

Now, for some added satirical irony to wash away the taste of religious bigotry. *btw, Satan isn't real. Ask any Satanist*

Sidenote, and not a happy one.  While Grady's video pretty much was only seen by gay audiences, that alone is damaging enough.  A young man whom I'd met before through outreach programs, and who's been struggling for years to un-learn all the "if you act on it you'll go to Hell" messages his family and church drummed into his head, tried to kill himself just two weeks ago after seeing Grady's video.  He'd made much progress, but Grady's reiterating of the ignorant nonsense that "gay sex (even in a relationship) is a sin" was enough to set him back.  My young friend is alive, he's in the hospital, but we nearly lost him.  He jumped off of a bridge, after figuring his life was going to be empty or destined to lead him to "Hell." His sister had forwarded him Grady's video, with a message saying "SEE? This is what you should be doing."

So, thanks Grady,  for helping drive a struggling young man to suicide.

EDIT

Grady has now removed his two "gays need to be celibate because God says acting on it is a sin" videos from youtube.  Clearly, sharing his ignorance with the world resulted in a resounding level of "what the fuck are you talking about?" instead of the "yay! you're right! acting on being gay is a sin!" he likely expected due to his only ever interacting with similarly bigoted "Christians."  Doesn't really undo the harm he's done, but at least his lies cannot be spread to others.

Stonewall - 45 Years Later

We're here today because they were there that day.
                                                                                  Go out and hug your brothers and sisters.
I am proud to be a part of this community and culture.  I am proud to be out and visible in a world that wants us to be invisible and silent.  I am proud to be a part of a culture and community whose very existence proves that "the way things are" will not mean "the way things are going to say".   More and more of us Come Out every day, all over the world, in every type of family unit and dynamic, in every culture, within every religious and socioeconomic circle, all over the world.  And we will continue, as we shall outlast every fight against us.

Go to pride events - enjoy the revelry and the celebrations.  And remember that the celebration of joy and community did not come without many a fight, and without work from many people who lost all they that had in order to ensure that future generations will not have to deal with the outright hatred and violence that marked their daily existence.  This is no mere party.


Bond with your brothers and sisters - the fight is in all of us, as is the strength to continue; it's in our blood.  From the groups meeting in living rooms to discuss "who are we? what are we? are there more of us? how can we help each other?", to pre-Stonewall riots at the Black Cat Tavern in California, sit ins, small protests,  the Mattachine Society, and the many nameless faceless men and women who stood up to be counted and changed the world by being honest and open - the movement continues and it's picking up speed.

The more you learn about LGBT history the more proud you will be to be a part of our diverse communities.  We have a wealth of vanguards and heroes to be inspired by.  To the misfits and outcasts and Queens and Queers who challenged the status quo and refused to be hassled and assaulted any longer - thank you, thank you, a thousand times Thank You.

Happy Pride.

"My Dad Says You're a Fag"

Well, a piece of mine has been published over at the incredible GoodMenProject site.
www.goodmenproject.com

the link is here: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/dad-says-youre-fag-hesaid/
"My Dad Says You're a Fag"

Check it out. And Happy Pride to everyone.

Thank You, Mum and Dad

Many moons ago I had my first experience participating in the Toronto Pride Parade, to help promote "Sugar", a film my friend had produced.

 I thought I'd surprise my parents, who were planning on coming downtown to watch the parade with me, my sister, and our friends.  My sister was in on the scheme, and kept telling my parents "Raymond's nearby, he's almost here."  And then suddenly, there I was - on top a limo, in the parade.  I leapt off, rushed to the sidelines to hug them, and then shouted "THESE ARE MY PARENTS!"    
                                   *THUNDEROUS CHEERS FROM THE CROWD*
It was such a blast, and my mum later said that she wanted to be in the parade.  I informed her that she can't just "be in the parade", but that she has to actually be a part of something. "Well, maybe I'll be a PFLAG parent!"  Sure, you do that, I thought.  Well, she did.  And so did my dad.
The very next year there I was on the sidelines with my sister and our friends, watching as my parents marched by.  I shouted, got their attention, they ran over for hugs, and then continued on their way.  At that moment I looked around and saw that everyone around me was doing the exact same thing I was doing: crying our eyes out, with happiness.

What would follow the next year would be a new tradition - our marching together as a family.  Easily the most wonderful feeling in the world.  In an age where we're still dealing with LGBT kids being kicked out of their homes, mistreated by their parents and shunned by society it is still vitally important that we march. My dad holds high his "I LOVE MY GAY SON" sign, because too many fathers don't, and won't.  My mother speaks out because mother's in Russia and Uganda cannot speak out and express how proud they are of their LGBT children.

My parents went from being PFLAG volunteers, attending the monthly support meetings to give support to other families, to manning the 24 hour support line phones, to my father becoming the Treasurer and my mother becoming the President.  I remember that phone call from Dad while I was living in Brooklyn, "Oh, by the way, Mum is the President of TorontoPFLAG now."
Oh, ok.  How about that.
It makes perfect sense as long before I came out my mother and father were already stepping up to be A Mum and A Dad to many friends of my sister and I, whom for whatever reason didn't have parents in their lives in the capacity that they were needed.  A friend who moved to Toronto from another city, or province or country found a *Mum and Dad* in my parents.
Fittingly, they've devoted their retirement years to being a Mum and Dad to the LGBTQ communities of Toronto - and to anyone who needs a hug, a shoulder, a listening ear and a support.

In 2013 my Mum was even honoured as the Grand Marshall of the Toronto Pride Parade.  Yes. THE GRAND MARSHALL.  My Mum.  My wee Scottish Mum. Icon.

My mum has now, after many hard-working years, stepped down as President of TorontoPFLAG, and  as she was making this decision she said to me, "I hope you're not disappointed that I'm stepping down."  *As if* I could ever be disappointed in anything she or my father have done.   She and my father are going to continue to give support and be PFLAG-ers, but not in the roles they've been occupying for years.  Time to do that *retire* part of retirement.  They both deserve a rest, they've been doing tireless work for years.
This was my mum's final public speech for PFLAG, at city hall honouring the International Day Against Homophobia & Transphobia.



A fitting send-off.  Yet that's not all.  Just recently she was honoured by Toronto City Council for her work on behalf of the LGBTQ communities.  What an honour to see my wee Mum get a standing ovation from city counsellors.

She has become a local gay icon. She has become a Mum to all those who need one.  She has helped put families back together, and through speaking in schools across the city has helped children learn to love themselves, and support their peers.
Every year on Mother's Day her Facebook wall is FLOODED with messages of "thank you! i love you!" from so many people for whom she has become the best mother-figure they've ever known.  Every gay friend that first met my Mum said the same thing: "She's just like Debbie Novotny!" - Sharon Gless' PFLAG Mom character on Queer as Folk.
I will forever be grateful to have been born to my mother and father.  More than grateful.  I have a Unicorn Existence, being born gay to this family in this city in this country in this time in history.  They inspire me, they humble me, they empower me, and their love and strength is what drives me every day.

Thanks, Mum and Dad.  I love you more than words will ever be able to accurately express.  Happy Pride. Enjoy your retirement.  You've changed lives, you've saved lives, and you inspire us all.

The Boys in the Bar from The Boys in the Band

Me and my buddy getting our drink on at Julius - NYC's oldest gay bar, immortalized in the opening scenes of the landmark film "The Boys in the Band" and in the happy contented bellies of every 'mo who's stopped by for a drink and a bite. I LOVE THEIR LIL BURGERS!  And I love their jukebox.  As you can hear from the audio, I was dropping coin to listen to some Joan Jett, some Bowie, some Yes and other rockin' classics.  So, if you're never been, and you're in NYC - head to the west village to Julius. It's rad.

Also, cocktails in Chelsea, selfies of selfies of selfies, and the joy of cute dudes' asses in the summer in shorts. *sigh* I love New York.

My Parents' "First Gay Friend" - Part of the Story of Who We Are

By now it's no secret that my parents are shining stars.  I've blogged about them, and with them, and they've allowed to me video them as I ask them all sorts of questions over the last few years.  I've been doing a lot of thinking about how we become the people we are today - the factors and paths that lead us to becoming who we are, and in asking some of these questions my mother and father started talking about their "First Gay Friend" - so I thought I'd share it with you.

Are Pride Parades too "sexual"? Is there "too much nudity"? Is this Much Ado About Nothing?

every year the same few people seem to get very very upset about "sexual content" (a loose term, no pun intended) in the pride parades. thought i'd ask my parents their thoughts. these are some of them.






for more on what was being discussed in Toronto, you can check this link here:

http://www.nowtoronto.com/daily/story.cfm?content=197060

Whether or not one feels that there is "too much nudity" ("Too Much", however, being any - as "nudity" is indeed not as prevalent as some folks seem to insist it is) I can't help but think that a better plan of action would not be to tell people what Not To Do, but to instead do what my family has done for many years now - represent who and what we are, in the way we personally choose to do it.  We exclude nobody.

If one is not prepared to join in, march, and represent what it is that they claim they want others to see.....well.... what business do they have telling someone else to not march, or to march on *their* terms?

EDIT

Michael Sam has just made history as the first openly gay man drafted to the NFL.

So, Michael Sam stands next to the man he loves.  He gets news that is not just the culmination of his own life-long dream, but is indeed truly groundbreaking - he's just made NFL and American history.  He does what anyone in that situation would do if they're with the person they love - they kiss and embrace and celebrate.

Cue the bigots - freaking out that he did what any straight person would be allowed to do, with no questions asked and no comments made: kiss the person they love.

The internet and conservative media (FOX NEWS in particular)  have been on fire for nearly 48 hours now, furiously spewing bigotry and hatred and disgust at...... a simple loving and touching kiss between two men who love each other, as they celebrated an historic moment, a truly momentous one, and a personal dream come to reality.

So, taking all that into consideration - how off-the-hook insane all the negative hateful responses have been......let's remember that this summer when Pride comes around, and some folks decide that "pride makes us look bad."

To whom? To the type of people who just freaked out because two men in love kissed each other, like any hetero couple would have done?

Catering to a bigoted bully's wants does not gain you their respect - it makes you a weakling in front of them.  It shows them that you're scared of them. 

Every year we hear it from the same insecure gay men "Pride makes us look bad" - well, it seems that even two men kissing can "make us look bad" to ignorant bigoted idiots.

There are no reasons for being prejudiced and bigoted.  Only excuses.  Excuses are what one gives when they can't be logical, factual, rational and intelligent about their opinions.

So the next time someone says "Pride makes us look bad" - remember that to a bigoted idiot, even a *KISS* is enough to make them lose their shit with hateful anger.

Homophobic Gay Men of Grindr

My Profile on Grindr. No shame!

It's amazing how one little line can really get a guy all worked up.  That last line on my profile, "Btw, take your "masc" and shove it up your @ss" seems to have reallllllllly upset someone.  I'll show you who.

I saw I had a message from this guy here.  And this is what he had to say.

 Lovely.  First things first,  he can "cut people up" for being "fairys" (sic)? Um, Ok.

I hope people can tell that I'm gay, actually.  I want them to be able to. I love being gay. I love being visibly gay.  It's a great way to not only meet other gay guys, which is always fun, but to let everyday people know that, yes, they do indeed interact with gay people on a regular basis.  I've been Out for nearly 15 years now.  I don't worry about people knowing that I'm gay.  And I haven't for many many many years. 

But it's interesting - I sound like a douchebag for saying "Take your 'masc' and shove it up your ass", but he doesn't sound like a douchebag for saying "No fairys"? Got it.  Nor is he a douchebag for using the terms "fem flamboyant girl fag", which is of course the exclusive language of self-hating homosexuals.  Two parts misogyny, two parts internalized homophobia, all things that people learn from a bigoted culture.  Many rise above, guys like Total Sex Pig here seem to embrace that learned hatred.

Oh well.  I guess I'm a fairy.  Such a fairy that my overt fairy fem-ness means that even a "Total Sex Pig" (who can't have guys over to his own place) went out of his way to message me,  to let me know that I'm a fem fairy. I guess we won't be marrying, eh? Oh, darn.

"It's always the fairies who complain about the masc guys calling themselves masc."  Well, except in this case, it's a "fairy-hating" guy getting upset that a guy (he probably wanted to fuck) is calling out the meaningless "masc" nonsense that he seems wrapped up in.  

But curious, if you're "not easily identified as a fem flamboyant girl fag" then why would you need to say that you're "masc"?  Wouldn't it be obvious?  I mean, if you have to *tell* me...... Oh, who am I kidding. I can't expect much logic or reason from this guy.  That one little line in my profile inspired a rather intense and nonsensical rant from him.  Sometimes it's worth noting that a guy with "Crazy Eyes" may be,  in fact, legitimately crazy.  

                                      Best of luck in life dude.  You'll need it. I won't.

"And How Is That Working For You?" or "Maybe Everyone Else is Sane and *You're* the Crazy One"

A buddy of mine forwarded this dating profile from Plenty of Fish to me - this guy had hit him up, and needless to say he does *not* want to go on a date with him.

This is not merely another of my tirades about internalized homophobia and the shameful and cowardly way that some Closeted men choose to denigrate, and demean the types of gay men that homophobic straight people taught them to have an aversion to.  This is more about being real, and doing the Dr. Phil thing.   The Dr. Phil thing, for those who don't know, is to ask yourself "How is this working for me?"

It's what Dr. Phil says to a person who adamantly defends their positions or outlooks despite the wealth of available evidence that, yes, "their way" isn't getting them the results they want in life.

This is not about loving sports, or interests or hobbies that greater society deems to be "masculine", this is about being real with yourself even if you're not yet ready to be real with anybody else.  Self-delusions aren't healthy.  Telling yourself everyone else must be insane is a great way to ensure that your life remains mediocre: heaven forbid one take into consideration the *possibility* that maybe, perhaps, the reason everyone keeps having the same response to you is because....well.... you deserve those responses.   Maybe you're earning them.  As someone close to me memorably said to an extended-family member, "I'll stop saying you're a racist when you stop saying President Obama is a Kenyan-born Muslim Socialist who wants America to be destroyed because he's part of the Muslim Brotherhood."  Maybe everyone thinks you're a self-hating asshole because you're speaking a language exclusive to self-hating assholes.



The second-last paragraph in this man's dating profile is the clincher.  It's the gold.  It's the thing the guy whose profile this is needs to sit and think about until he finally wakes up.  Seriously - look at the second-last paragraph he wrote. All the guys he thinks are masculine, that *he* has messaged - have shot him down.  And he chooses to ignore the reason why.

No.  You're not too straight.  You're not too masculine.  You're too proud of your self-loathing, buddy. You've swallowed culturally-learned hate, digested it, shat it out, and then ate that shit.  You are not too manly for anyone - if anything, at present, you're not yet *man ENOUGH* for any self-respecting gay man to want anything to do with.  It's actually really sad.  This is the insidious nature of homophobia and anti-gay bigotry in culture.  Gay men don't just naturally have an aversion to other gay men or perceived "gayness" - it's learned.  It can be unlearned with those who have the inner strength to do so, and self-interrogate, and question the world around them and their part in it.  You can't be a gay man who doesnt' want to be gay, and doesn't want people to know you're gay, and complain about how you've been unable to have a relationship with another gay man.  I feel very sad for this guy who wrote this profile.  He's clearly not loving life.  I have sympathy for his circumstances - but very little for how he's choosing to deal with them.

But many do not ever allow themselves the chance to do that.  Their pride in their insecurity becomes a false and poisonous safety-blanket.  The longer a person tells themselves these lies, the harder it is to stop telling them, and break free of a need to fall back on them.

I know some guys want to be "in a relationship" before they Come Out.  Careful with that one, brothers.  The longer you wait to come out, the older you get, and the older you get the more your pool of "guys your age" who are in the same place as you becomes limited.  You end up being 30+ years old, and at a place in your "gay life" where many other gay men were in the early-mid twenties, or late teens.  These days more and more LGBT people are self-identifying as such in their *mid*-teens.  There are certain rites of passage that openly gay men go though, and acknowledge.  Certain things we, both personally and socially, process and experience and collect as part of our journey and story to becoming the man we are.

The Closet is an iron maiden - you think you're safe in it, but you're really dying a little bit more each day.  It makes people crazy.  So crazy that many decide to blame everyone else for their own problems.

There's a way to get out of it.  A process every Out gay person knows - and that process begins with being real with yourself so that you can one day start being real with someone else.  And then someone else.  And eventually, in time, everyone.

And so, I present this profile as a visual reminder of the Journey.  A sadly-clear example of how toxic it becomes to absorb cultural prejudices and homophobia, and how refusing to see it as internalized homophobia only means you're poisoning yourself, and slowly dying every day, while you instead tell yourself that everyone else is crazy.  No, they're not.  They just don't hate themselves for being gay.  Calling a guy a fem or a chick or comparing him to girl doesn't make you masculine.  It makes you both a misogynist and a self-hating homosexual.  Boasting of how straight you think you appear doesn't make you more of a man.  Men stand up to be counted.  Boys give excuses not to. Men don't take pride in passing for something they're not, men are proud of who and what they are.

I understand that not all men were raised to view being a man that way.  But at some point, like I said and like Dr. Phil says.....well, "how's that working for you so far?"

My Mum, ever the class-act, calls out Mayor Ford

Yes.  Sochi.  The embarrassment that was the Sochi Olympics - where athletes and medal winners confronted the oppressive hatred of the Russian government with the courage and integrity of a bowl of mashed potatoes.   Meanwhile, in major cities across Canada and the world, Pride Flags had been flown - a sign of solidarity to the LGBT people of Russia who would be beaten, arrested and possibly killed for doing the same thing.  Naturally, this upset the power-stripped crack-smoking Mayor of Toronto, one Rob Ford.

Naturally my mother, in all her grace and class, put him in his place. Mum, you had betta WERK!

Bad Neighbours - The Couple That Fights in the Hallway

Oh, to be woken up at the crack of dawn on a designated "Sleep-In Day" because the perpetually at-war couple next to me decided to unleash the latest installment of their saga in the hallway, outside my apartment.  Thanks for the world's most annoying wake up call on a day I didn't need it.  I liked you both better when I could hear you fucking through the walls.  Needless to say, this video was taken on the morning of February 14th.  Methinks they didn't have a happy Valentine's Day....