Little Kiwi and Bauhaus

Little Kiwi and Bauhaus
A Boy and His Dog

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Beauty Fades, Dumb is Forever


That's a quote from Judge Judy Sheindlin, folks. I love her. LOOOOVE her. And it's great quote. And it's the sad truth. I'm continually feeling up and down about myself, and about others, and about people in general when it comes to issues of attraction, and what people want in a partner.
Sometimes you run across people so vapid and shallow that you just want to...well...I won't even go there. But here's an example of what I'm talking about. The following is a direct copy-and-paste from an online gay dating site profile. The guy is 29. A "headless horseman". (the name I give guys who shows pics of their naked bodies with the head cropped off). He has the kind of muscle tone that shows hours of daily gym work. But this is what he has to say......

"Hey. I'm looking for someone around my age who's muscular, fit, super fit, who's pics are for real, and who is really cool and strong and fit."

Wow. Do you think he's into guys who are fit? Say fit again. I fucking dare you. FIT. His screen-name should be "Jacob Three-Three." I mean, come ON people! Even for a gay online dating site that's just fucking pathetic. That's not a sentence, it's an affront to humanity. I can't be the only one who finds stupidity completely unsexy. Look! He even used "WHO'S" instead of "WHOSE"!!! This man is 29 years old!!! I've had more enlightened conversations with my dog. And when I say dog, I mean canine, and not the dyslexic God.

Remember that Sex and the City where Carrie gets the note from Natasha (Mr. Big's younger fiancee) and she used "their" instead of "there" and she gets a kick out of it? I get a kick out of that shit too.....for a moment. Then this sorta sadness hits me...because even though I can recognise the errors, I'm completely aware that a lot of the world...doesn't care. They don't. They see a hot person, and they forgive all stupidities. It's not fair. Why did I go to the trouble of becoming, oh, I don't know, LITERATE, if all guys want in a partner is something hot to show off on their arm? Why did I cultivate interests? Why did I bother learning anything about the world when the only thing that apparently matters is that each muscle group be buffed and toned for ultimate definition?

One time at the gym I made a comment to another friend that one of the guys he was checking out was "the biggest idiot I've ever met in my life". The Idiots friend overheard me and was like "that's really rude". I shrugged. Whatever. Like I care what the "friend" of this dumbass thinks. He's probably dumb too. But I actually engaged him in conversation. I said, "I know him. I've known him for years. I don't consider him smart or interesting. I find him almost criminally dull." Idiot's Friend (let's just call him Plebe The Mighty) said, "well, ok, but like brains aren't everything".......OOOHhhhhh,you can imagine what a comment like THAT does to a dude like me. I went on, "Do you think it's a bigger insult to comment on someone's lack of brains than it is to comment on their physical looks"? The guy said "yeah"...so I said, "then why aren't brains given more value in our community, and the rest of the fucking world, instead of muscles?"

There was a pause in the conversation that lasted about as long as the intermission between Act 1 and Act 2 of Gotterdammerung as Plebe The Mighty attempted to think. I never really got an answer. Oh well, I guess we'll never know......

Why is it that people are able to forgive anything cute? If person A is highly attracted to Person B and person B is simply NOT an outright asshole, person A puts person B on a pedastal of godliness. Here's a quick dramatization!
Person B: Hi, my name's Jacob Three-Three, I think cool people are awesome.
Person A: OMG, he's SO nice! He's the nicest guy ever! I like him!

Reality-Check Jones: No. He's not the nicest guy ever. He's inoffensively civil and uninteresting. He simply wasn't an asshole. That doesn't make him the Jesus of Hot.

What kind of existence is this? Not knowing shit about the world, not being for or against anything, and people just falling over themselves to sing the praises of someone who has...done WHAT exactly? Worked out a lot? Here's what a big muscular body means: you spend a lot of time doing repetitive movements with an increase in weight, thus increasing your muscle mass by default. Building muscle is a simple matter of human biology: it requires no thought process, no brains. You do the motions, the human biological makeup does the rest. I have nothing against people who exercise or work hard on their bodies. Fuck, I work out a few times a week. But I also read books. Engage people in open dialogues. Watch the news. I'm not saying "don't work out", I'm saying there's more to what you should be than simply a buffed-up shell of a man. I know plenty of hot, muscled and intelligent people. I just also know far too many hot, muscled dunces.

I'd say the same argument goes, in a way, to false-sophisticates. It's not what books you've read that counts, but what you've gleaned from them. It's not what school you went to, but what you learned from it, and how you apply what you've learned in your life.
But I stand by this: if you meet a funny, intelligent, interesting guy, he can always join a gym and build his body. It's simple. Even dumb people can do it, as we learned from Idiot and his friend Plebe The Mighty. But you can't take a dumb person with no personality and make them interesting or smart.
As Dorothy Parker once said, "You can lead a horticulture. But you can't make her think"
(Yes. the angsty gay kid quoted Dorothy Parker. viva la gay agenda! it works!)

Bartending this summer it was neat to see which customers flirted with which staffmembers, and in what manner. A lot of guys talked to me. Hehehe! It was fun. But the point is that they talked to me. Engaged me in conversation. Witty banter. Words were exchanged. Dialogue opened. And then you see how some guys (usually dressed in lame "Abercrombie-chic" clothes) look past you, to the hottie with the seriously rockin'bod, and they flirt by.....staring. Nobody really says anything. The eyes take on this vacant-glazed look like a drunk child seeing the world's biggest candybar, and they just sorta...stare at each other...and don't say anything witty, or funny, or...interesting. Are they psychic? Do they communicate via googly eyes and telepathy? Puke. I guess that's what I have to take from it. I can't be upset that I'm not the object of lust of muscular vegetables, and that really isn't the point of all this...

What was my point? I ask that so often....
I guess I'm just expressing a desire and a sadness. I wish people cared more about the things I care about. Ugh, how lame is that? wah wah wah, whiney little miseryguts littlekiwi thinks he's Holden Caufield. Ugh.
Sometimes the world is like one big Highschool Cafeteria, and you're frantically looking around for the "Drama Crowd" to save you, and give you shelter and reassurance that you're just as special as the Jock Crowd makes you feel tiny. That's what I'm saying. I wish there was more Drama Crowd. Wow. That insight took forever to find.....

4 comments:

Caitlin said...

Raymond. I care about what you care about. Too bad I'm a lesbian.

Post to the script - even though I never see you I, like, totally heart you.

ry said...

your hillarious

miz g said...

ok ray, are you ready for this?

a grown man spelled a word in an email train on facebook like so...

sunonomouse

i looked at it. it made no sense. i thought about it. i read his entire sentence again. WTF?

finally, it dawned on me...

SYNONYMOUS!!!!!

Greg Stevens said...

You're right about the bias that people have sometimes. A lot of people expect me to be stuck up and rude, and so when I'm merely polite, they think "OMG HE'S SO NICE!!!"... even though I wasn't being nice. I was just being polite. LOL

Little Kiwi Loves Bauhaus

Little Kiwi Loves Bauhaus
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