Don't Fear Barbra Streisand

The senselessness that is the knee-jerk reaction that 'stereotypes' are inherently negative and harmful.

I grew up in a world where I learned, very early on, that there were certain types of gay men that were mocked, belittled, insulted and denigrated.  I also learned very early on that not only was it a *cough* "gay stereotype" to love Barbra Streisand, but the gays who loved her were deserving of derision.

Like an idiot, I accepted that knowledge without challenging it.
Oh, but then all that changed....




I suppose the question I have now, when people say things like "Why do gay guys like _______?" is actually to reply with "Why doesn't everyone like _______?"

That's what I always find so puzzling - we're asked why "gay guys" like something, and yet for the life of me I cannot wonder why non-gay people don't love it just as much.  Likely, they do.  They just don't talk about it cuz, you know, people might think they're gay.

;-)

LittleKiwi, OUT!

Support for the Trans Community

Queer Talk - Part Four

Queer Talk - Part Three

Words to friends and family of LGBT people.

DADT and Affirmative Action

Queer Talk - Part Two

On approaching your parents and family as an adult, and not a child. Asserting yourself as an adult, and setting the tone for how you expect, and indeed demand, to be treated both as an LGBT person, and a human being of worth. Change comes when you demand that change come. Progress does not stand still.

Queer Talk - Part One

Part One in a short little series of conversations with my parents about dealing with LGBT family issues.

HAM BISCUITS

Which must be Southerner Closet-Speak for some deviant sexual act. Word, yo.

DADT Repeal - And So It Continues....

Gender-F**K

So, Thanksgiving night at my friend's house, and as the night goes on and we all get more and more inebriated it turns into Dress-Up Time with a side order of the macabre. The Grand Guignol merging of sex and death and gender-norms that typifies Williamsburg-ian art.

I posted the photo online, and within hours had message after message, comment after comment, all digging it. Which, frankly, surprised me. Messages from strangers, especially. Dudes I don't even know, most comments being on how "Hot" the pic is. I'm just stunned. Guys tend to be such conformists when it comes to how gender is represented, and yet I've literally had dozens of messages in the last few hours from guys who have a hard-on for this photo.

Something to think about.

Colds: The One Thing Everyone Loves To Share

The Importance of Being Allies - How Supportive are Your Supporters?

The above photo greeted me this morning when I signed onto Facebook. It's my sister and my brother-in-law; shirts they ordered from stonewall.org.uk. Wonderful, eh? And powerful.

All-too-often I hear members of the community saying that they don't need to "proclaim" their orientation or "wear or on their sleeve" or "be defined by it", which (to me) sounds more like cowardly gay-apologist nonsense that anything else. Look, the reality is this: anti-gay bigots sure love to scream from the rooftops how much they hate gay people. And as America refuses to pass hate-speech legislation, we cannot shut them up. What we can do is raise our voices to match theirs, and be just as vocal, just as visible, and combat their shouted lies with truth and love.

And so, these thoughts came to mind....

What's Next For Andrew Shirvell?

Well....is he? Of course he is. Family can always spot Family. But the biggest indicator is simply this: the "I totally hate gay people!" thing is pretty much the go-to disguise for closeted homosexuals.

Mark Foley. Ted Haggard. Larry Craig. Bob Allen. Glenn Murphy Jr. Ken Mehlman. Charlie Crist (wait for it..it's gonna happen). George Rekers. Rick Scott (wait for it..it's gonna happen). Jim Kolbe. Richard Curtis. Bob Bauman. pathetic theatre-queen Justin Caster. J.Roy Ashburn. Edward L. Schrock. David Dreier. Jim West. G. Harold Carswell. Roy Cohn.

Andrew Shirvell takes his place among the sorry list of homosexuals who were not merely closeted, but virulently anti-gay until...well...until the Good Ship Karma paid them all a visit.

Poor thing(s).... *le sighhhhh*

Shirvell had boasted, previously, about how "everyone supported him" in what he was doing. The problem, however, with living in an insular world where everyone reflects bigotry back at each other is that one becomes out of touch with...well...everyone else.

Shirvell, of course, is a homosexual. I say "homosexual" and not "gay man" because you're born a homosexual - you have to EARN being gay, by Coming Out and embracing who you are. You have to claim it and you have to own it. It is not handed to you.

So, what now?
Shirvell has been fired from his job as assistant A.G. Good.
Chris Armstrong will flourish. Young, bright, Out, strong? He's gonna do just fine.

Shirvell? No way he's going to live this down and find solid employment, and who does he have to turn to? A bigoted family he's spent his life trying to convince that he's not gay by being a big ol' anti-gay bigot.

One day, he will be Outed. And after we (secretly, and some not-so-secretly) take pleasure in it (because, hey, karma is real...) we can encourage him to do the right thing: become an Advocate for equality, by sharing his story of how self-hate and religious bigotry turned him into a man hell-bent on attacking others to distract the people who were supposed to love him from the truth about Who (and what) he is....which is a closeted homosexual.

Here's hoping that one day Shirvell finds the strength to be a Gay Man.

Gender-Nonconformity

I remain, more and more, awed and humbled by my transgendered friends. It's hard enough being gay in this patriarchal culture of hetero-normative lies and bullshit, where gender-nonconformists are often the target of very insecure, angry and unintelligent people, but to be transgender is something that the world needs to catch up on understanding. There are, of course, more than two genders. There are at least six. I have many trans friends, and am continually inspired by their remarkable resilience in life.

Admitting to being gay is so difficult for some people, especially males, that they have to condition their "acceptance" of self by reinforcing that they're "still a real dude, and not one of those stereotypical flamers or somthing..." Ugh. What bullshit, eh?

So, you're gay, but you're still a 'real man', eh? Good think you're only gay. You wouldn't have the strength of character it takes to be openly transgendered.

It is Living Out Loud, indeed. Defying gender-norms, externalizing your internal self, and having the courage to *change* your gender in the eyes of a confused world that all too often chooses to react with anger and hate at anything that confuses them.

My brothers and sisters, I fucking adore all that you are and I will always have your back.

Oh! And here's a pic of my awesome parents with Buck Angel, because they're all totally fucking awesome.

Two videoclips I wanted to share. Buck Angel (*swooooon*) who is the hottest freakin dude ever, and who happens to have been born into a female body. Angel ROCKS. Take everything you thought you knew about what it means to be a man or a woman, coat it lube, and FUCK it.

OH, and this piece of genius writing.....the performances of which cut my soul apart, and then stitched it back together with their strength. I'm in awe.

:-)

Love, Little Kiwi

Purple Power

So, yesterday we all wore purple. Well, not all. A lot. And that's still pretty rad. NYC was awash in shades of purple, and I was rather moved by that. Not just showing solidarity in the wake of the recent LGBT youth suicides, and the violence, but as a show against the anti-gay bigotry that still plagues this country, and indeed this world culture. When there is anti-gay discrimination sanctioned by the government and written into law, what message is that sending to gay youth and the non-gay youths who BULLY them?

So, The Color Purple. All day. The looks of recognition and love exchanged by those who were sporting the color yesterday were lovely. It was like not feeling alone, in a city full of strangers.

And then, to top it all off, the sunset over Manhattan was purple itself. Rainbow shades of indigo and violet. No joke. I attached a photo, the view from my bedroom balcony (unedited!) to show ya. Neat-o, eh?

Why Are Bigots Obsessed With Sex?

It's just ridiculous. The obsession that the anti-gay crowd has with, specifically, male anal sex. It's like they're all the mother from Stephen King's "Carrie", utterly obsessed with the thing(s) they claim to loathe. And it's almost exclusively focused on male-male anal sex, not lesbian sex (because anti-gay males only hate lesbians unless it's two smokin'-hot babes getting it on for the sexual gratification of straight males...), and not oral sex. I dunno, do they have an explanation for why oral sex is ok, and holy, when performed by heterosexual couples? What about straight couples that have anal sex? When I say "I'm gay", I'm fully aware that some people instantly think "Butt Sex". I don't actually care, but many do, and I know that many parents don't want people to know that their child is gay because they don't want people to think that their son takes it up the ass. But why are they even thinking about it? Do they think, of their straight sons and daughters, "Oh, my daughter has a girlfriend! There are penises inside her!" "Aw, that's my son. He pounds pussy. YAY!"

Why? Ewwww! You don't think (I hope...) about your straight children, or neighbours, or friends, having sex. Why do people insist on thinking about what (they think) gay people are doing in bed?

Patriarchal nonsense. Gender non-conformity. A re-imagining of male and female roles and what they mean. It's such fucking nonsense.

Solidarity - Visibility - Coming Out Day

Every day, showing people that you care about Equality. Just a thought ;-)

It Gets Better, BD says so. And I'm his friend. So there.

Shitting on the First Amendment! The Musical

Success! After massive public pressure that these idiots shouldn't have been surprised by, Shirvell has been suspended from his job. Firing soon to follow. And he seemed so boastful to me, and so self-righteous on CNN, eh?

Aw, Mary. ;-)

So, the investigation into Shirvell begins. His computers should be seized and their contents examined. I think we all know what those harddrives are going to contain....

And, in advance, let me just say right now that NO, none of it was for "research purposes"...

Oh Andrew Shirvell....it seems that you never learned that resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die?

Do YOU Find This Funny?

I was having a moody night. All of the recent gay youth suicides were on my mind, my heart was heavy and I needed a laugh. I love standup comedy. Thought this might cheer me up.

Didn't.

And then when I hear 50 Cent tweet this: "If you a man and your over 25 and you don't eat pu**y just kill your self damn it. The world will be a better place. Lol" I just don't know what to think.

*update. Another 2 suicides just reported. That makes 6 gay youth suicides in the last three weeks. 3 this week alone. Rest in peace, my brothers. I'm sorry I never got to help you.

Crazy Closeted Andrew Shirvell

Interactions with Andrew Shirvell - Cyber Bully, Bigot and Closeted Homosexual.

September 16 at 6:55pm My Message to Andrew on Facebook.

I mean it's bad enough that you're a pathetic online cyberbully but the really tragic part of it is that it's just so brutally painfully OBVIOUS that you're gay too!

Do you really think this is gonna fly, Sugar? It's TEXTBOOK! Every time you closet-case Republican cowards conducts a pathetic, bigoted and baseless witchhunt against LGBT people, it makes it clear as day that you think nobody will notice how gay YOU are. You all think it's a disguise.
"Oh, i know, I'll be really really anti-gay! That way NOBODY will ever suspect me!"
You're in for a big shock, little man. You're brutally, painfully, obviously gay. And the more you attack those who are Out, the deeper you're gonna dig youself into this hole. And that PATHETIC blog you run? It's gonna come back to haunt you. Big time. Throughout the rest of professional and personal life. You're just royally screwed yourself, kiddo. How do you want to be remembered? What do you think your legacy will be? You're on the losing side of history, and worse, you're a total Jewcatcher. Remember them? Selling out their own kind to the Gestapo, passing for gentiles, so that they could avoid their own persecution? That's you, man. And it's painfully obvious.

So what's your plan? Gonna keep up the charade until your own computer gets confiscated, the files are examined and your own truth Comes Out? It could happen. Keep being a cyber-bully and maybe someone will have reason to suspect you of criminal activity. Bring the whole house of cards down, eh?

It's bad enough to be a bigot in this day and age. Shameful, really. You'd be looked back on in history with the same embarrassment and disgust reserved for those who opposed Integration and fought against the Civil Rights Movement.

But you're something worse. You're a gay man who hates being gay so much that he promotes anti-gay bigotry as part of his disguise. You have blood on your hands, Andrew.

You were born a gay man. You will die a gay man. Nothing will ever change that. No matter what lies you tell, or what hatred you promote. You will always always always be a gay man. The sad thing is, you're choosing to hide and hurt others, when you could be a part of the solution to end prejudice and injustice in America.

What will be your legacy? Cowardice and shame and bigotry, or redemption?

You're fooling no one. Time is limited. You can't hide forever. Sooner or later, the truth always Comes Out.

Andrew Shirvell September 25 at 6:58pm Report

Wow, you’re such a wind-bag, Raymond! You're also a disordered SODOMITE (that's why u think everyone else is, too). SHAMEFUL!

Raymond September 25 at 11:51pm

"sodomite" means what, exactly?
what specific acts do you think all gay people do that no straight people do? do you think it's about specific sex acts? if so, which ones?

you spend a lot of time thinking about what gay men are doing. very odd ;-)

today my sodomite lifestyle involved dinner with friends, a theatre show, groceries and a trip to the library.
what's sinful about that?

keep it up, coward. it'll be your undoing.
:D

Raymond September 26 at 12:07am

and expect that everyone on your friends list, and all your family, will be informed of your shady doings.

so much for working against "Cyber-Bullying", eh? Can dish it but you can't take it?

If you keep it up, well, the harder you'll fall. You're fooling no one.

Andrew Shirvell September 26 at 12:12am Report

They all know about my "controversial" blog, you idiot. Everyone is very supportive. So good luck with your harassment campaign, Raymond.

P.S. Face it, now you're just getting plain pathetic!

Raymond September 26 at 12:14am

there's nothing pathetic about living a life of honesty and integrity while calling out a cowardly bigoted bully.

enjoy your blog, enjoy digging yourself deeper into a hole. i pity you. of course you're anti-gay. your family would disown you if they knew the truth. that's too bad.
my parents and i march in the pride parade together every year. im sorry you don't know what it's like to be loved and accepted for who you are.

so, keep up the blog. it's not gonna hurt Andrew. it is, however, going to seal your fate. you're never going to amount to anything in politics because of this.

you've lost.

Andrew Shirvell September 26 at 12:18am Report

Oh, yeah, hahahahah! P.S. I will be on some national news programs next week! Everyone will know about Armstrong now!!! So, unless you want to be featured next on the blog, I would suggest you leave me be and let sleeping dogs lie, ok, Miss Raymond?

Raymond September 26 at 12:46am

what don't you get? us openly gay guys don't care if people know that we're gay. we ENJOY our lives! you lie about Armstrong. flat-out. you're OBSESSED with him. this is going to come back to haunt you BIG TIME, bucko. You're never going to be taken seriously. Ever.
"Miss Raymond?" nice. good old fashioned misogyny, eh? And that proves my point, too: you're a closet case. Calling me "Miss" isn't an insult. I don't think females are lower or lesser than males. It's an insult to you, because you think less of women, and you're terrified of being associated with anything 'gay', even fun use of female pronouns. Because you're a closet case. You keep proving me right.
You're on my blog, I might as well be on yours :-) I have nothing to hide; a life of honesty, integrity and a life's work standing up against bigoted cowardly bullies like you.

And all these conversations here? Recorded. Saved. Posted.

Thanks. You do our work for us.

EDIT - after all this went down, Shirvell was taken to court. And he was found guilty.  This blog post was used as part of the court case against him and I'm very happy that Armstrong continues to flourish in life while Shirvell is destined for nothing - except paying millions for defamation and harassment.

What Company Do You Keep?

When This World Gets Too Crazy....

.....I have to remind myself that I have another home up north, in a country where freedom and equality are realities, not dreams. And there's a family and there are friends, and there's a hairy little lady with a wet nose and a big heart and I love them all.

:-)

Send in the Clones OR Who Are Your Friends?

Bars and clubs are interesting in that you see that not much as changed since high school. Cliques still exist. Duh. What's sad is that it really does seem that they exist for the same shallow reasons. People with the same body-type hanging out in a crew of guys with the exact same body-type.

I guess part of what I always liked about being in the "drama crowd" was our shared bond of drama. Both professional and personal (hehehe!). But it was neat to see how it played out over the years. I remember one girl who was chubby in freshman year, only to lose a tonne of weight over the summer, and returned as a skinny sophomore, who was now able to hang out with the very girls who'd excluded her the year before. Who cares if she had to be hospitalized for complications from bulimia by the end of junior year, she was finally cool...right?

Or living here in NYC, where we see the boys who come from smaller towns who realize that by going to the gym every day, they'll attract the attention of other guys who go to the gym every day. Some guys never leave the circle they gain entry to, all the while maintaining the physique required to keep their membership. Some guys tire of it (*elegant curtsy*) rather quickly and seek a new scene.

I did it. I was a shallow twat and wanted, as if afflicted with some fucked-up Aesthetic Stockholm Syndrome, the approval and acceptance of people I really didn't even know, who didn't know me, yet had still managed to be utterly dismissive dicks to me in public. It didn't last long, thank God. Because not only was I bored senseless by the world I was given access to, I was also fed up of working out all the time.

Life turns up empty, and you're so dissatisfied, because you're not actually listening to yourself and doing what you want: you're still acting, perpetually auditioning for the lead role in someone else's idea of your life, instead of changing the plot yourself and claiming it.